Page 71 of Sleepless in Saunton
Jane beamed with sheer joy. “I love you, too.”
* * *
Barclay cleanedher and then himself, before returning to the bed to hold his soft Jane against his body, listening to her breathe as she fell asleep in his arms.
It was strange to be lying with a woman in bed once more. He had always been assiduous about whom he bedded. Apprehensive of consequences might explain it, but more than that, he preferred the act of lovemaking to be with someone special. Someone of deep affection. As such, this was the first time he had made love since Natalya’s passing.
Then, too, he had always been exceedingly cautious because of Natalya’s weak heart. It had been a necessity, both of them aware of the need to prolong her life as long as possible.
He was not sure if it was traitorous to be relieved that this was no longer a fear he would need to live with, Jane being a strong young woman with no health issues other than her recent bout of insomnia.
His time with Natalya would always be treasured, a part of who he was. But this new life with Jane would be different. He could plan on a future with her. They could grow old together, and it was such an intense joy to open this new chapter of his life.
Knowing he would not sleep, he closed his eyes to savor her presence before he left her for the night.
When Barclay opened his eyes, it was first light. His pulse quickened. He had slept for several hours and now he could be caught in Jane’s bed!
He withdrew the arm wrapped around her, causing Jane to protest in her sleep. Gently rising from the bed, he quickly drew on his breeches and shirt. The servants could arrive at any moment, or even be in the hall. Quickly, he raced across the room. Leaning his head against the door, he listened for any sign of activity, before slowly opening the door. He looked from right to left, but the hall was empty, so he exited the room and quietly closed the door behind him.
“Papa?”
Barclay was certain he jumped ten feet in the air. Looking down, he found Tatiana sitting near his feet, leaning against the wall. There was no other word for it—he blushed. He blushed like a little girl to be caught departing the scene of carnal relations, mortified that his daughter had caught him.
Leaning down, he lifted her up and quickly made for the door of his own room, lest others come upon them and notice what he had been up to. Once he reached his room, he carried Tatiana over to the sofa to put her down. Taking up a seat next to her, he sought for something to explain what she had seen.
“What were you doing, little one?”
“I was waiting for you. Mama said if you were alone in a room with Jane, I must wait so I do not find you doingzrelyythings together.”
Barclay shook his head, still waking up from the unexpected slumber. Again, Tatiana was using a word he did not think she knew. “Zrelyy?”
“That is what she said. What doeszrelyymean, Papa?”
Barclay lifted a hand to rake it through his hair. Could it be that Natalya had somehow spoken to their daughter? “Mature. It means adult. About your mother—”
“She came to say goodbye. Mama said that Jane is my mother now, so I must be a good girl and listen to her. I was happy for Mama but sad that she is gone. That is why I was looking for you. I … I wanted a hug.”
“Oh, little one.” Barclay pulled Tatiana onto his lap to embrace her. “If I am alone with Jane, and you need me, you can knock on the door. I will always be here for you.”
“Mama told me that if I leave you alone, I might get a brother or sister soon. She said she would like that very much, if I had brothers and sisters like she had in St. Petersburg.”
These concepts were toozrelyyfor a nine-year-old child. Barclay did not know what to say, so he held his daughter tight and wondered if all those nocturnal discussions with Natalya the past two years had been mere conjurings of his imagination. Or something else?
No, it was far more likely that Tatiana had dredged up memories during her vivid dreams due to all the excitement of the past week.
He supposed it did not signify, because he, Jane, and Tatiana were a family now. His sleep had returned, and they would live long and happy. If Natalya had been visiting in truth, she was now free to start the next chapter in her journey, no longer trapped here by her concern for them.
Barclay pressed a kiss to Tatiana’s silver-blonde hair. “Are you happy, little one? About Jane and me?”
“Very,” she mumbled against his chest. Soon she dozed off in his arms, and Barclay lifted her carefully and carried her to his bed to lay her down, pulling the coverlet over her before using a screen to block off the washstand from her view so he could start preparing for his day.
EPILOGUE
NOVEMBER 1820
The Thompson carriage passed through the gates of Chatternwell House, starting up the long tree-lined avenue bedecked with the colors of autumn.
Barclay folded up his designs for one of his current commissions, putting them away. Across from him, Jane scribbled with a pencil in her notebook. The duke had introduced her to a writer friend of his, Lord John Pettigrew. She was now compiling her first volume of poetry and regularly corresponded with Pettigrew who was mentoring her.
