Page 9 of Sleepless in Saunton
Natalya had immediately caught his attention, acting as an interpreter for him at social events around the city. Her silver hair, deep blue eyes, and pleasing manner had been fascinating to him, and his dishonorable parentage had been inconsequential to her. She only cared for him, and her father had approved of the match, considering it to be a great honor to unite families with Tsar despite the shadow cast by Aurora’s unwed status.
Barclay’s initial trip of one month had turned into three, and by the time he set foot on the ship that would take him home, his Russian beauty had been on his arm as his bride.
When Natalya had accepted his proposal and embarked on a new life in England, they had both known that their days together were numbered. She suffered from a weak heart, but she had refused to allow her condition to hold her back. She was determined to live life to its fullest, and Barclay was grateful for every moment he had shared with her on this earth.
When she had decided to have a child, which the doctors had cautioned her against, his wife could not be dissuaded. She wanted to leave a piece of herself behind.
“You must allow this, Barclay. One day I will no longer be here, and then you will be grateful to have our child to remember me by.”
He had reluctantly agreed, and Natalya had bravely taken the journey of motherhood, taking every precaution to protect herself during that time. And she was proved right in her quest. She had survived the ordeal to bring Tatiana into the world and lived another six years as her mother. Long enough to see their daughter walk for the first time, learn to laugh, and grow from a tiny babe into a young girl.
Barclay could regret none of their time together, even more sweet because his beloved had fulfilled her dream of motherhood and been there to witness their daughter grow into a beautiful, tiny version of herself before Natalya’s heart had taken its last beat and she had slipped away from them for the final time.
His wife would have been so pleased for him this evening. So happy that Aurora and Tatiana would gain a new level of social status with this recent development. She had believed in family, and honor, and would have admired the earl for searching him out and elevating their family.
He wished she were here to view this beautiful moonlit night with him. To discuss the events of the day and their arrival at this magnificent country home. To enjoy a story with Tatiana in the room next to his.
“Barclay, you did well, bringing our family here.”
As he had so often done since her death, Barclay had summoned Natalya from his memories to stand at his side. “I knew it was what you would want.”
She smiled, resting her delicate head against his shoulder. “You were right.”
Barclay’s heart squeezed tight. He knew this fantasy could only survive so much—he could not attempt to touch her, or his imagination would fail and his grief would return. He missed his wife so much, it was a physical pain. “Anything for you.”
“But, my love, you promised me you would find a new wife. A new mother for Tatiana.”
Barclay grimaced. Recently, every time he called Natalya from the recesses of his mind, she admonished him for not fulfilling his last promise to her. “I am not ready, Talie.”
“It is …vremya…”—she searched for the English word, as she often had in the past—“time. It is time, Barclay. I have been gone two years now, and Tatiana needs a mother.”
“I cannot, my love. I still hear your voice. I still turn to find you when I wake. I cannot … replace you.”
She smiled, tears dampening her silver lashes. “Not replace. Someone new. Someone different to provide you comfort. An English girl, perhaps, who does not care about your lack of a father. Who cares for you.”
“Please, Natalya. I cannot.”
Natalya frowned lightly, turning to place a hand on his chest as she always had when imparting advice. “You must let me go, Barclay. My child needs a mother. And you need a new partner.”
“Talie—”
A knock at the door interrupted his thoughts. Shaking his head, he returned to the moment to cross the room as the memory of Natalya departed as quietly as it had arrived.
* * *
Jane satin a wingback chair in the far corner of the library, reading the book of poetry she had found on the shelves. Since arriving in the Balfour household, she had been struggling with insomnia, but had grown to enjoy the late hours when the household had retired to bed. It allowed her to read in peace.
She turned the page to her favorite sonnet, tracing a finger over the familiar words from the bard as she mouthed the words to herself.
In the distance, she heard footsteps approaching. Not sure who might be entering the library so late at night, she pulled her long legs onto the seat, adjusting her wrap to hide herself until she knew who interrupted her solitude.
“Why is it we need to converse in the library at this hour, Mother?” Jane shivered at the husky quality of the man’s voice, her skin tingling in response to the pleasurable sound. Leaning around the wing of her chair, she stole a peek. It was him! Tatiana’s father.
Jane realized she should announce her presence, but she found herself reluctant to do so. She wanted to enjoy listening to him for a few minutes more, but if she made herself known, they would have to make polite introductions. And, if she revealed herself, their first meeting would be in their nightclothes which did not seem an auspicious beginning.
“Barclay, it is important that Tatiana not overhear us. You know how she is. I thought if we talk here in the library, we will leave her undisturbed. The poor mite only just fell asleep.” The honeyed, accented voice confirmed his mother was the companion who had followed him into the room.
The son gave a dry laugh, which skidded over Jane’s scalp like warm honey. His tone had such a dark and unique timbre, which was thrilling to listen to. “Are you certain she was not faking?”
