Page 18 of Caroline Saves the Blacksmith
“Charles was going to sign up whether you joined him or not. He was frustrated that more than a decade of war with Boney looked to be starting anew. He wanted no more wives of Chatternwell to be widowed. When Boney escaped, Charles informed you that he would fight with or without you because he was a good man. A courageous man.”
William paused, thinking back on the events leading up to Hougoumont. Now that he thought about it, Charles had been the first to raise the subject of joining the fight after Boney escaped Elba.
“Charles would be proud of the part he played this day. That his loss prompted you to fly into a rage, which in turn led to saving the corporal. His presence here that day, it was—”
“A blessing?”
Caroline smiled. “Indeed. We did not need any more fatherless children in Chatternwell because of the little tyrant’s quest for power. Charles had a choice in his fate because he was allowed to grow into a man. He had a mother and father who loved him, and he chose to honor them by protecting the liberty of England.”
William sat down, his knees no longer able to hold him up as he adjusted his perspective of the past. He had lived in regret for five long years, but would he have done anything differently? Would he have convinced Charles to stay home, never himself signed up, based on what he knew now?
“Regretting the past is a waste of time, William. We must count the blessings and then continue with our lives.”
Caroline had taken a seat beside him, her white skirts blinding in the sunlight as she placed her delicate hand over his. “Charles would want his sacrifice to be meaningful. He would want to know that his memory lived on through you. That you embraced life and lived it to its fullest as a mark of respect to honor his bravery and his sacrifice for the good of Chatternwell and other towns like it.”
The chains that had bound him since this day at the fields of Waterloo slowly loosened their hold and the weight of them melted away. As the tight bands disappeared, William felt his eyes welling with moisture. Raising his hand, he found tears streaming down as he quietly came to terms with the past and released his guilt.
Next to him, Caroline resumed her melodic humming as he finally wept for his cousin’s death, but accepted that it had played an important role within a hitherto unknown master plan.
* * *
When William’seyes flickered open, he could feel his cheeks were wet. A surprising discovery, for he must have wept like a babe in his sleep. The room slowly came into focus as the dream faded.
He flinched in surprise when he realized Caroline was standing over him, with her hand on his arm as if to wake him up. She had lit a candle which was on the table beside her, her face lined with worry as she stroked him in a soothing gesture.
“William! Thank heavens you are awake! You were having a nightmare, and I could not rouse you.”
He blinked to clear the haze of sleep from his eyes. “How did you know? What was I doing?”
“You were highly agitated, growling and flailing in your sleep, and then you … you were weeping?”
William swallowed hard and lifted himself to lean back against the arm of the settee. “I was counting my blessings.”
“And that made you”—Caroline seemed reluctant to finish the question, clearly concerned for his pride—“cry?”
He thought about how to explain what had just happened. “I discovered that counting blessings can raise some deep emotions to the surface. I was grieving my past … and releasing my failings. You were there.”
She drew back in surprise. “In your nightmare?”
“It was a nightmare. One I have experienced frequently, but then you arrived and it … changed to something else. Your words stayed with me, and I saw events from a fresh perspective.”
“It was good that I was there, then?”
“Very good,” he assured her.
Something within his soul had shifted, and for the first time in years, he felt a measure of peace. The dream version of Caroline had been right. Charles would not want to see him grieving still after so many years. This woman’s words of wisdom before he had fallen asleep had provided the only comfort he experienced since his rage at Hougoumont, and now … the entire future had taken on a new aspect.
Perhaps his vow to repress any emotion, to not form any relationships, to work to the exclusion of all else … Perhaps it was a flawed commitment, and he needed to send the past to where it belonged—the past.
Which brought to mind the enticing presence of the woman who had helped lead him to this revelation. William’s gaze dropped as he took in that Caroline’s wrap had fallen open to reveal her night rail beneath, before rising to settle on her exquisite lips, and he imagined she might taste of the tea and biscuits they had eaten earlier that evening.
Once again, he wondered what her scent would be if he were to pull her down into his embrace.
* * *
Caroline watchedWilliam’s gaze focus on her lips, his tongue darting out to wet his own.
She recognized the heavy haze of desire that now played across his features, flushing his cheeks. Starting to back away, her blood heated feverishly in her veins as the blacksmith grinned to reveal a slash of white teeth. He certainly was more amiable than she had ever seen him, his grim air having dissipated to make him more approachable.
