Page 36 of Caroline Saves the Blacksmith
“I am not sure when my landlady will return, and I should be there when she arrives to prevent questions about where I have been.”
His throat thickened with emotion as she stood and moved away. Their time was ending, and the only promise he had secured was that she would return a year from now.
The intelligence he had applied to building his business was nowhere to be found as desperation to hold on to the time with her as long as he could bit deep.
“What if I courted you? Would that be acceptable?”
Caroline’s expression crumpled. Had she been upset about leaving if her emotions were so close to the surface?
“Please trust me when I say that you do not wish to pursue me. I am not worthy, William.”
He rubbed a hand over his chin, trying to think. “I believe you are.”
She shook her head. “But I am not. You do not know what I have done.”
William’s interest piqued at this declaration. Her secret had to do with something she felt culpable for? Perhaps if he could persuade her to tell him her shame, he could convince her to consider the blessings she must be ignoring. She had helped him to reconsider the past and find solace. Perhaps he could do the same for her.
“Please come take a seat?”
She walked over, sitting down with a thump at his side. “If I could, I would stay, William.”
“Can you tell me why you feel you are not suitable for my attentions? Perhaps if you explain it to me, it will not seem so insurmountable.”
Her hands came together as she fidgeted in agitation. “If I tell you what I did, I will lose your regard, and I do not want that.”
He brought a hand over hers to provide comfort. “Please, sunshine. There is nothing you could say to change my mind about you.”
Caroline’s shoulders shook as she swallowed a sob. “It was unforgivable.”
“Nothing is unforgivable if one makes an effort to correct it.”
“There is no fixing what I have done.”
William tugged on his beard, trying to think what to say. “Nevertheless, whatever you tell me will never change my mind about the woman who took care of me on Christmas Eve.”
Her head lifted, her eyes finding his. The torment in their depths was enough to break his heart, but he did not flinch. He needed to be steady, so he returned her gaze and lifted a hand to tuck a lock of hair behind her ear. She was so achingly beautiful, and he must show her strength if he was to convince her to change her mind.
“When I was thirteen, my grandmother died. She was my only living relation.”
He nodded, but his chest tightened at these words. She had been only a year or two older than when his own parents had left this earth. Fortunately, he had Uncle Albert to take him in.
“Mrs. Harris had known my grandmother, and she promised she would provide me a position when I needed it. So I went to work at Baydon Hall, where she was the housekeeper.” Caroline fell silent, so William reached out a hand to caress the curve of her cheek in encouragement. “Miss Annabel was a little younger than me. The daughter of a baron. She took the time to teach me to read and how to do numbers. When she learned I was adept at sewing, she provided me with fabrics and convinced Mrs. Harris to apprentice me. We discussed me opening dress-rooms one day, and she vowed to invest her pin money when she was married to help me.” Caroline choked up.
William put an arm around her in comfort, and she turned her head into his shoulder to hide her face. “What did you do?”
“The Earl of Saunton began courting Miss Annabel when she was nineteen. Soon they announced they were to marry, and he was visiting all the time, and I … we … I … I gave him my virtue!”
He held her tight as she broke into sobs, stroking her back to calm her. “You blame yourself for behaving in an improper manner?”
She shook her head against him, her voice muffled when she finally replied, “Nay, William, for betraying my dear friend. Miss Annabel did so much to help me, and I ruthlessly deceived her.”
William tried to imagine himself in Caroline’s position. What if he had stolen Nellie from his cousin when they were younger? He admitted that the guilt of it would have eaten him alive, so he understood the distress she felt.
“What happened?”
Caroline sobbed before eventually answering the question. “She caught us. In the stables.”
Bloody hell, he felt terrible on her behalf. She was clearly still distraught over the situation after all this time. But how much time was it?
