Page 48 of Lord Trafford's Folly
She set him down on the grass. Audrey wanted him to test his flight nice and low so he was not injured yet again. The bird hesitated in a mild state of confusion, waddling forward with shrill chirps. Then Flapper extended his wings in the manner of a newly birthed lamb attempting to stand.
Audrey watched, nibbling on her lip and hoping that her assessment had been correct. She was sure the wing was healed, but the wild creature had been caught in a cage and binding for three weeks. Did Flapper recall what he was to do?
The bird peered around, cocking his head back and forth, before turning to stare at Audrey herself. For the briefest moment, she thought the creature was going to return to her, but the wings extended once more and, without warning, the bird took flight. Wheeling through the air, Flapper took a few dips, and then he was gone.
Audrey stared in the direction he had flown for endless minutes, the ever-threatening tears finally streaming down her face. They dripped off her chin to run down her neck, and work their way into the fabric of her gown. She was a complete ninny for weeping over a tiny bird but, somehow, his departure symbolized the end of her adventure in Town. Soon, she and Julius would gather their things and head home to Lord Stirling’s. The townhouse might be just across the street, but it felt more like a journey of hundreds of miles. A journey from a beautiful fantasy land back to grimy London.
Soon her single night with the handsome lord who had stolen her heart would be a distant memory, and Audrey cried for all she wished could be. She wished she could remain by his side. She wished Julius could be her husband and escort her on more visits to the places of men. Taverns, perhaps. Dance halls, certainly. She wished she could visit those places with him, share conversations with him over meals, return home to join him in his bed. That they might have babes with his strange blond and brown hair running about their home, dressed in unexpected colors selected by the odd gentleman who had sired them. That he would make her smile when she was sad, and laugh when she was happy, and that she could take care of him. Provide him counsel, keep him and their children out of the hands of quacks, perhaps together choose a new crusade to pursue.
She supposed one day there would be a woman who tamed the wild spirit barely contained within his earthly form. Audrey just wished it could have been her.
Julius was still mullingover his proposal to Audrey when he reached the door to the alley to await his friends. He could tell she was tense this morning, anticipating her return home and the awaiting controversy. Opening his mouth to inform her of his intent, he had realized he still did not know what he was offering her.
A marriage in name only would allow her to pursue her goals in medicine. In fact, as a married woman, she would be far more acceptable as a healer than an unwed girl. Not from his personal standpoint, but most people were rather unyielding in their social expectations.
But, somehow, sending her off to Stirling as his estranged wife was not sitting well.
And, to make matters worse, he was not ready to let her go. He had enjoyed holding her in his arms the night before.
Marriage leads to indifference.
He sighed. The thought of his delightful friendship with Audrey descending into ambivalence was unpalatable. Nay, if they stayed apart, they could maintain their mutual regard. Yet … perhaps … he could visit her from time to time to take care of their mutual needs. She was a passionate lover, and he had little interest in returning to his prior carnal arrangements.
Making love to a female he considered a friend had been a new experience, and he had never envisioned being the sort to marry and keep a mistress. He recalled being rather appalled when he had attended a house party in Somerset the year before and a scoundrel of the upper classes had set his sights on a debutante connected to Lord Saunton’s family. Both he and his chum Brendan had warned the beef-witted boor that LordSaunton would not tolerate such behavior toward a young lady under his protection.
Julius was still reeling at the idea of marriage. He had sworn it would never happen, but it was the honorable thing to do since Audrey had discarded her reputation to see to his longevity. Considering her assertive behavior in bed the night before, he could not make a muddle of his proposal. She would hardly be passive with her words if he botched it. Which was why he needed to be concise and clear about what he was offering. Unfortunately, he was still vacillating about what the offer was precisely.
Checking his timepiece, he leaned against the wall, drumming his fingers while he tried to think about what to do about Audrey. Soon they would leave, and he should settle the matter with her before they departed from Aunty Gertrude’s.
Julius was not accustomed to such indecision. Under normal circumstances, he got a notion in his head and concluded if he was interested or not in pursuing it. This state of affairs with Audrey was different. Her welfare notwithstanding, Julius was having difficulty grasping what his own desires were when it came to the unusual female.
He did not want a marriage, but he wanted to marry her. He did not wish to answer to anyone, but Audrey had proven an excellent chum who tempered but did not attempt to curtail his objectives. Not to mention, it would be terrible to cause misery for a dear chum. A chum who had saved his life a week ago.
His wound ached in reminder of what he owed Audrey. Is that what plagued him? A sense of obligation to the avenging angel who had chased his would-be assassin away? Mayhap his debt of honor to protect her from salacious gossip obfuscated his thoughts so. Perhaps the best thing was to offer to wed her with the provision they live apart. Then the sense of duty would dispel so he would have a clear head.
A brief rap on the door alerted him that Abbott had arrived. Julius swung the door open, stepping aside to let the other heir in, and shutting them in with a brisk click of a lock latching.
They waited for Brendan, the rustle of leaves in the morning breeze the only sound. Neither dared discuss anything where they might be overheard out in the alley. Julius took the interlude to settle his worries. Proximity to Audrey and his friendship with her were clouding his mind. They would wed. He would escort her to Stirling to settle her in and then … he would return to London to sort through his thoughts.
He could abstain from women for a while. When he knew how he wished to conduct himself in the future, he and his bride would concede to an acceptable compromise. His future activities need not shame him if they agreed on the terms of their marriage.
Julius’s anxieties molded into a decision. He just needed some time to restore his equilibrium before he amended their arrangement.
“Are you going to let Filminster in?” hissed Abbott in reproach. Julius blinked, glancing up to find Abbott waving with irritation toward the door. His eyes flared in dismay, recognizing that he had missed the muted knock. He gestured to Abbott to move out of sight and opened the door to reveal Brendan disguised as a groom. The baron scowled at him in rebuke, stalking in without a word.
After the door was secured, the three men headed into the mews to find the tack room. Brendan spun on his heel as soon as they entered, throwing up his hands as an irritated question.
“My apologies. I was woolgathering,” Julius mumbled.
Brendan’s chestnut eyebrows rose to his hairline in surprise as he shot a look at Abbott.
“About a certain young woman?” he proffered.
A surge of umbrage made Julius straighten up in defense. “Certainly not! I just … have news to impart!”
That Brendan had guessed where his thoughts lay was galling. He was not some insipid youth pining over a female. Just because these two buffoons were besotted with their brides did not mean he was following suit. Nay, he was cut from a different cloth than most.
The fact that he had sated his lust, yet still desired Audrey, still felt the impression of her beneath him—that was neither here nor there. Once he put things right, life would return to normal.
