Page 76 of The Courtship Trap
She peeked up at Sebastian. He was so still, his broad frame leaning against the doorframe, arms folded over his chest. He seemed calm—too calm—watching her with steady gray eyes that revealed nothing of his thoughts. He had shown no reaction to anything she had said thus far, simply listening.
Her breath quickened as she tried to think how to say what came next.
If he stayed in the room after this—if he did not storm out, if he did not look at her with disgust—then she would know. She would know that he would never leave her. That no matter what she said, what she had done, she would not lose him.
And yet, it was so despicable.
She swallowed, her throat tightening as she fought to force the words from her lips.
Just say it, Harriet. Say it before you lose your courage.
“But that is not the worst,” she finally blurted, the words rushing out before she could stop them. “Last year, I had an affair with your cousin Perry.”
Sebastian straightened, his arms uncrossing, a deep frown creasing his face.
Harriet’s breath caught.This is it. This is where he leaves.
She watched in growing panic as he ran a hand through his golden hair, his fingers raking through the strands in that familiar way he always did when he was thinking, when he was troubled.
Her stomach plummeted.
Then he exhaled slowly, lowering his hand. He met her gaze, his expression indecipherable, but then, he nodded.
Harriet stared at him, stunned.
And then he spoke, his voice low but steady. “All right.”
She blinked. “All right?”
Sebastian gave a small, weary nod. “It is not what I would have wished to hear, but … I cannot say I am surprised. You were lonely. He can be charming.” His mouth twitched with what might have been amusement in a different circumstance. “And he was utterly without honor, although I am told he is a very different man now.”
Harriet released a shuddering breath, barely able to process his words.
He was not leaving. He had not raged. Had not recoiled.
And the part of her that had been bracing for his rejection—that had been certain of it—uncoiled like a spring snapping loose.
“You are not angry?” she asked, her voice tentative.
Sebastian ran a hand down his face, then sighed. “Oh, I am angry.” His voice was rough now, his gaze sharp as steel. “But not at you.Not anymore.” He shook his head, as though sifting through his thoughts. “I have spent years resenting the past.Resenting you. But the truth is, I left you to face England alone while I ran off to Italy. I should have fought harder for you. I should have made it impossible for you to doubt me.”
Tears burned at the backs of her eyes.
“I did doubt you,” she whispered. “I doubted that you could stand against your brother. I doubted that I was worth fighting for.”
Sebastian took a step toward her, his voice fierce now. “You were worth it, Harry. You are worth it.”
Her pulse slowed in shock, and then, she was in his arms.
Sebastian held her at arm’s length, his strong hands firm but gentle as they rested on her upper arms. She could see the longing in his eyes, the way his gaze traced the lines of her face, the curve of her lips, but he would not allow her to press against him.
His voice was quiet but unyielding. “We should finish this, Harry. Tell me about Brendan.”
Harriet blinked, stunned. A cold wave of dread swept through her, and she instinctively tugged away, crossing the room to wrap her arms around herself.
“Someone told you?” she asked eventually, barely audible.
Sebastian shook his head. “It was a guess.” He exhaled sharply, rubbing a hand over his jaw. “Brendan did not say a single word during dinner last night. And he attempted to interrupt the duke when he thought his secrets were going to be revealed.”
