Page 66 of Beautifully Messy
“Did James and Sydney look… tense during their pool game?” She stops and takes a breath, I can hear from outside the door, before continuing. “They weren’t even talking. It was like they were locked in a silent feud.”
My stomach drops and I press a hand to my mouth to keep from gasping aloud.
“Are you implying something?”
“No… I don’t know. He’s been off since yesterday. Quiet. Not excited about the engagement.”
“It’s been one day. Maybe he’s dealing with that. You know, losing his freedom, being tied to one person. Would he propose if he didn’t want to marry you?”
There’s a scoff. “That’s the thing. He didn’t ask. He handed me the box. And he kind of looked like he wanted to throw up.”
The vulnerability in Ivy’s voice is unmistakable. The same uncertainty I remember from her college years, when she’d cry about boys who didn’t deserve her tears. Except now I’m the reason, not the comfort.
“Mase, I’ve walked in on them talking a few times. And it felt like I was interrupting something.”
Silence. A heavy kind.
“Stay out of my marriage,” Mason seethes.
“Have you noticed any shifts? Like one minute, Sydney’s staring out the window, a million miles away, and the next, it’s like you’re the life raft keeping her afloat.” A soft, sad sniffle follows. “Ever since we left last Christmas, James has been all over the place, quiet one minute, irritable the next, then suddenly acting like he can’t stand to be alone. I chalked it up to… I don’t know what… but now, I’m not sure.”
“Maybe you should take that up with your fiancé. I’m trying to work now. Do you need anything else?”
“I came to you because something feels off. But sure, go ahead and make me feel stupid. That’s easier than admitting something might be wrong.”
I hear her shift in her chair. Silence follows.
Warm breath hits my neck—cedar and bergamot, I know who it is before he asks, “Who are we eavesdropping on?”
“Shhh,” I hiss, backing away from the door. I make my way down the long hall, and take the steps two at a time to get as far away as quickly as I can. I don’t stop till I’m in the basement. James follows at a more leisurely pace, a few steps behind. “Why are you following me?”
“I want to know what made you all flushed and furious.” He grins, settling on the leather couch with a large sketchbook in hand. “Where’s your necklace?”
“I took it off,” I snap. “Didn’t suit me. It was Mason and Ivy in the sunroom. They were talking about us.”
“What exactly did they say?”
“She’s read more into the times she’s interrupted us. That you didn’t even propose, you just handed her a box, that our pool game felt like something more.”
He doesn’t flinch. “And?”
I stare at him—at his calm, his certainty. It makes me want to throw a shoe at him. I understand how Jules feels with Tom’s ever-present calmness and support.
“Sydney,” he says, quieter now, more serious, “I think we both know the answers to her questions. The real one is yours. Will you ever trust me?”
I swallow hard.
“I’m still here,” he continues. “I’ve tried to move on, tried to convince myself I’m better off without this. Without you. Hell, I’ve thought about ending it with Ivy, so I wouldn’t have to see you again. But when I imagined never seeing you again... that hurt worse. So here I am.”
He leans forward, eyes never leaving mine. “Hoping you’ll finally see that I’m not going to disappear when your claws come out. I like them. I like you, especially when you let me see the fire you hide from everyone else. I’m waiting for the day when your eyes flash gold, and you don’t look away.”
I sink into the nearest chair, breath dying in my throat. My shoulders sag under the weight of all I’ve been carrying. I stare at the ceiling, letting his words settle into the cracks in my walls and thread into the crevices of my heart.
“What happened with my mom… with my parents. It really fucked with my head.”
He nods, steady and sure. “I know. That’s why I’m still here, why I’ll keep showing up.”
The certainty in his voice makes something quake deep inside me. Hope. The thing I haven’t let myself believe in since I found out my mother had taken her own life.
