Page 68 of Beautifully Messy
His hands fall away, leaving ghost prints of warmth on my skin. He grabs his sketchbook in one swift motion and walks upstairs. I remain frozen, the echo of his touch still burning on my face.
Twenty
Christmasdinnerisanepic spread. Prime rib takes center stage, with sides spilling across the table. If you can keep your pants buttoned after, it’s a Christmas miracle.
Leo and Beck have vanished, hypnotized by their new video games, and the rest of us gather in the living room, sprawled across the sectional in post-dinner contentment. A silly Christmas movie plays while conversation drifts in soft waves. Anna climbs from lap to lap, babbling and giggling, showing off toys.
Mason sits apart. One leg is crossed, phone in hand, eyes glued to the screen. He’s been silent since the basement. His eyes travel to my collarbone every few minutes, teeth clenching each time he finds it bare. His barely contained animosity is oddly freeing.
I don’t have to pretend and let my mind wander.
You have all the power here.
I’ve felt powerless for so long, and James has handed me everything. His heart, his future, his vulnerability—and he trusts me not to destroy them. It wasn’t a plea or seduction. It was a vow.
Night settles over the mountains, streaks of moonlight stealing across the dimly lit room. The sky stretches wide and obsidian, every star a tiny, defiant truth. Constellations I used to wish on as a girl before I knew better. Before I knew the sky never promised anything but presence.
Every risk. Every choice is up to us.
“Sydney, how has work been?” Margaret asks, her tone warm. “I haven’t heard you say much about it.”
“Things are good. Same as the last time you were visiting. We're still remote, so if our sitter needs anything, I’m right there.”
Margaret nods approvingly, but before she can respond, Mason interjects. “Mom, don’t buy this martyr act. She’s basically working part-time now compared to the hours she used to put in. It’s a joke.”
He laughs alone. The room sits in silence.
And the worst part?
He thinks I’ll take it, that I’ll absorb the blow with grace, the way I used to. The way I was trained. I see it in the smug set of his jaw, the way his eyes lift like he just won a case in court.
I sip my wine, letting the bitterness settle on my tongue, waiting for the fire in my chest to cool before I speak. The old me would’ve let it pass, smoothed it over with a laugh or deflection. But I’m not that woman anymore. Not since Anna. Not since James showed me true respect.
The bold, unapologetic woman I’ve been clawing my way back to—she’s here now.
“You’re right.” My voice is clear enough to carry across the room. “I’ve cut back my hours since having Anna. My priorities have changed. I love being a mom, and I have zero interest in making partner or losing myself in that grind again. I don’t needthatto feel fulfilled anymore.”
“Such a waste of your law degree,” Mason scoffs, shaking his head.
I refuse to flinch. I look at Jules. At James. Their eyes burn with fury, and I let it steady me. Let it remind me I’m not alone.
“Mason, what is wrong with you?” Tom snaps. “Do you hear yourself?”
But I don’t need saving.
“It’s okay, Tom.” I flash a wide, wicked smile. “Mason’s made it clear that showing up has never been his thing.”
The morning’s holiday cheer vanishes without a trace. Jules and Tom exchange a look. Gary studies the ceiling, and Margaret turns to Anna. Jamesscans my face with complete, undiluted attention. Ivy’s unease is impossible to miss. Mason stiffens, color rushing to his face.
I smile wider. Let the silence stretch.
Sorry, Mason. I’m no longer your polite punching bag in pearls. If you want to pick a fight in front of your family, don’t expect me to play nice.
Margaret clears her throat, her discomfort obvious. “Well, it’s wonderful that you’re finding a balance that works for you, Sydney.”
“It really is.” I pause, waiting to see if she’s going to turn to Mason. Instead, she tickles Anna.
“That’s so inspiring, Syd,” Ivy says, a broad smile on her face. “I’ve been thinking a lot about balance lately. James and I have talked about me scaling back at the firm once we’re married. You know, focusing more on...other things.”
