Page 47 of Steel
“Like shit.” I sniffled. “She’s so mad at me, Daddy. I know I owe her this experience, but I’m scared.”
“You need to have a conversation with him, Neha.”
“How? The man barely wants to talk to me. He looks at me with so much disgust. I tried to explain when he first came over here, but he wasn’t trying to hear me out. I don’t want to provoke him.”
“You two share a child. He can be as mad as he wants to, but he has to communicate with you. If he wants a healthy co-parenting relationship, he’s gonna have to have the hard conversations with you. You were wrong, but at the end of theday, you are the mother of his child. You two have to find a way to work together without all the bitterness.”
“I don’t know what to do, Daddy.”
“This is a fresh wound. Give him some time to calm down and try again.”
I nodded. “Okay.”
“Now, put a smile on that pretty face and tell me what else has been going on.”
I spoke with my father while I finished cooking. Talking to him or my mother always lifted my spirits. I was feeling a little lighter by the time the food was done. That all ended the moment Nayelli walked in with Kerrion and KJ behind her. They’d been outside the whole time. At one point, they were sitting at the picnic table, looking like they were having a serious conversation. Kerrion looked at her so lovingly, even though I could tell whatever he was saying was serious and stern.
When they came through the door, Nayelli came over to me and wrapped her arms around my waist in a hug.
“I’m sorry for being a brat, Mommy,” she said softly.
I hugged her back and kissed her forehead. “It’s okay.”
“No, it’s not. You’re my mom, and I should respect you. I promise I won’t do it again.” She reached for my face and kissed my cheek. “I love you.”
“I love you, too, baby.”
“Can Mr. K and KJ stay for dinner?”
I looked up at Kerrion, who stared at me with a blank expression.
“If he wants to.”
Nayelli looked over at him, and he smiled.
“We’d love to have dinner with you, baby girl.”
I didn’t miss the emphasis on “you.” I didn’t say anything, though.
“Nayelli, why don’t you help me set the table?” Dinah said, going to the cabinet for the plates.
“Yes, ma’am.”
The kitchen grew quiet as the two of them left, leaving Kerrion, KJ, and me alone. He stood there glaring at me. His stare was so intense that I could feel the anger radiating from him.
“You made a nice home for her,” he finally said.
I sighed as I put the cabbage into a serving dish. “I tried.”
“It’s the least you could do,” he mumbled.
“Kerrion, I don’t want to fight with you for the next eight years. You’re here, we’re here. Let’s just make the best of this.”
He chuckled, but I knew nothing was funny. “The best of it. You took the best of it away from me. I’m picking up the pieces and starting ten years too late.”
I rested my hands on the counter and stared at him. “What do you want me to do? Get down on my knees and beg for your forgiveness? Build a time machine and go back to the day I found out I was pregnant? I can’t. Okay? I made a mistake, and obviously, I can’t talk to you about it because you won’t hear me out. If you aren’t going to let me explain myself so you can at least understand where my head was, I don’t wanna hear shit else about it.”
“I don’t need to know shit. Ain’t nothing you can say to justify keeping me away from my child.”
