Page 63 of A Lesson in Obedience
I found myself wanting to keep looking at him, but I needed to leave. Being in a library with him made me think about what had happened the last time we were alone together in one and that wasn’t happening with him right now. I couldn’t help but feel like I was missing something without him, but how I wanted to go about letting him back in took priority.
I got off the elevator, heading for the doors towards the main campus. I reached for my phone, checking the time when I saw I had another message from Corrin.
CORRIN
on his knees, Riley. It’s actually more liberating than you think.
That same feeling of desirable intrigue warmed my veins, like it did the last time I thought about this. I didn’t know if I liked it because I coveted the way it made me feel knowing I could ask that of someone, or the fact that I knew he would do it in a heartbeat.
23
Riley
Beau had been at my side while I sat on River’s bed ever since I’d gotten home. He’d moped a little after Jade left but she’d promised that she hadn’t overfed him treats while we were gone. I didn’t believe her, but the moment we found them asleep on the couch together instantly made up for it.
The car ride back home was more awkward than it had been getting to school. River had sat in front and the tension between them was palpable, but I didn’t ask questions. The minute I walked into Asher’s office, their shoulders were tense, and the immediate silence when I walked into the room already told me something was off. I wondered if Asher had told River about how he’d gone down on me on that very desk they stood in front of, but knowing River, this wouldn’t have been the attitude he ended up in.
They wouldn’t be ecstatic with me joining Celica, nor would they be delighted that Corrin had added ‘search for Chancellor Fowler’s mom as another means to defeat the big bad’ to my to do list. From the outside, in a small way, I was offering him a little bit of what hewanted, but it was a means to an end; just like him using Grayson and killing my dad was for him. I hated comparing us, but it was staring me right in the face.
I considered what would happen if the worst came and I was faced with killing him, if his life was dangling by a thread and I held the sharp blade that could cut that thread. Would I do it? Maybe I had humanity left if my answer wasn’t an immediate yes. Was I that hurt by everything if I didn’t just want to tear him to pieces? I hated him; I knew and felt that with every fiber of my being, but murder…thinking about it boiled my blood but it also made me queasy.
The bitter taste of both of the elixirs still sat on my tongue, but I kept telling myself it was a necessary evil. Beau snuggled closer to me and I looked over his head at the end table. My dampener ring sat on the wood, looking innocent and not like a piece of jewelry that held me back. I shouldn’t say that. It didn’t necessarily hold me back, it just…. made sure I stayed calm and collected, right?
I let out a loud, obnoxious sigh. Thank God it was Friday, because even after one day I needed a fucking nap and then I heard shouting. I grumbled, throwing my legs over the side of the bed and rushing to the door. The arguing was coming from Asher’s room and I was prepared to tell both of them to shut the fuck up, when the words they said stopped me.
“You don’t have to keep yelling at me!” River shouted. “I know this is bad, okay? I didn’t try to hide it from you, so that should count for something.”
Asher scoffed. “Ah, yes, thank you for not keeping the fact that dad ravaged your mind. I appreciate your honesty and the fact that you came in and told me what happened as if we were discussing the weather.”
“How would you have liked me to explain it? Either way you were going to be pissed off.” River explained. “Besides, I told you that it wasn’t dad.”
That’s why the drive home was so awkward. That explained the tension when I’d come to the office. I gently leaned against the door.
“You keep saying that, but it doesn’t make any sense how it couldn’t be.”
“I know dad, okay? I know what his magic feels like. It stings and I—” River cleared his throat. “I would know if it was dad. You also didn’t need to go barging into his office either. I told you to keep you in the loop, not have you come to my fucking defense like I’m a little kid.”
Asher barked out a sharp laugh. “I can tolerate dad speaking to you and being the normal self-righteous prick that he is, but the minute he pushes too far, the minute he threatens you, that’s my cue to step in. It’s always been my cue, whether you appreciate it or not. So, yes, when our dad decides he is going to mess with you in the middle of the fucking school day for no reason whatsoever, then I will come to your fucking defense whenever I damn well feel like it.”
The one thing I always understood about Asher was his infinite love for his brother, even though he didn’t put it on display for the world to see. His actions as fucked up as they were sometimes always shifted River out of harms way by any means necessary.
“It wasn’t dad! I don’t know who it was and I clearly don’t know why!” River sounded exhausted and all I could do was slump against the door and keep listening. “It felt more like an aggravated warning than anything else.”
“Even if it wasn’t dad’s magic directly, he was still involved. He always is.”
“You can try to protect me all you want, Asher, and as much as you grate on my last nerve, I would do the same for you, but this all boils down to Riley. I know I’m just one of many pawns to get her to submit to Chancellor Fowler. Dad wants us to be this super family with mom as our doting human who is so fucking blind to what’s in front of her. He’s willing to see us so unhappy, just so we can pretend to be the luckiest family with all the money and power to gloat about. He will never be satisfied, so if for one second you think that choosing me over Riley will appease him, I would think again. I’llwork on my shit, but I would rather him destroy every little piece of my mind than give her up.”
I meant to place my head against the door lightly but the sound that reverberated from my skull meeting the wood was louder than I intended. My body froze and I stepped back from the door, praying to whoever that I could walk back to River’s room unscathed.
I heard the doorknob turn and came face to face with my boyfriend.
“How long have you been there?” River asked, his voice soft.
“Not long, I was just about to knock?—”
“How about the truth, little liar.” Asher came up behind his brother with his arms crossed.
I rolled my eyes at him and focused on River. “A few minutes.”
