Page 31 of A Lesson in Obedience
I pulled my braids up off my neck and pulled them over one of my shoulders. “Yeah, I guess. He doesn’t have to be so pushy about it. It’s not really helpful…”
“I think it’s his odd way of caring about me…and about you.”
“River, I don‘t think?—”
He shook his head. “That is for you and him todiscuss. I only know about my own relationship with my brother, and I’ve always known Asher had a weird way of showing he cares.”
“As long as Asher doesn’t turn to the dark side, then fine, I’ll go to fucking school. I’ll listen to you guys, but he needs to cool it. He can keep his abrasive tendencies for the classroom and not bestow it upon me, that’s all I ask. I don’t want Chancellor Fowler to ruin anyone else’s life, so if I have to go and show my face, be seen as some type of pariah, then fine.”
“You won’t be a pariah, Riley. That school has much bigger problems than you and your secret magic.” River reached out and squeezed my leg over the sheets. “Besides, if you have any problems, I’m a phone call away.”
“You won’t read my mind and just know?” I challenged, cocking my head to the side.
“I wouldn’t do that.”
“River, let’s not pretend like you didn’t try when Grayson brought me back into my room, unconscious. I may not be able to prove it, but I do know that you would want to help me no matter what and even fight against how much you conditioned yourself not to.” I slipped out from underneath the covers, shuffling over to him.
His mouth was slightly open as if he wanted to retort and go against what I was saying, but his defense would be futile. “Riley, I didn’t want to and it’s not like your mind would let me, but you were scaring me and I really didn’t like seeing you like that. Marianne, your dad, I hate it for you. I hate that I can’t fix it.”
“I know and I’m not mad. I can’t blame you.” He looked a little relieved and I stuck my tongue in my cheek.“You really care about me, don’t you?” I asked, poking his arm.
“What gave it away?” he joked, smiling at me. It was that charming smile that I’d fallen in love with.
I reached out and traced my finger along his defined jaw, watching the way his Adam’s apple moved as he swallowed. There were so many things out of my control lately that it wasn’t fair. I didn’t ask for this fucked up family history. I didn’t ask for my dad toget thrown out a window and left for dead. I didn’t ask to have power, but then again, they felt like they have always been a part of me and I never wanted them to leave. I’d hurt my own mother because of them…and I needed something that was tangible. Something I knew was a constant for me.
I leaned in, pressing my mouth to his. He let an immediate moan slip out and I took that as my cue to open my mouth and take more. I wrapped my hands around the back of his head, moving my lips over his and he gripped my sides. The shirt rode up my thighs and I felt heat up my spine. Never breaking our connection, I maneuvered myself so I was straddling him.
I brought my hands down and tucked them under his shirt, wanting it off.
He broke our kiss, dodging my attempts to capture his mouth again. “Riley.” His voice was a whisper in the small distance between our faces.
“What?” I asked, more bite to my words than I anticipated.
He ran his hands up my sides and then back down. “I think maybe we should talk some more or I don’t know….”
“No, you don’t know. You are trying to tell me what I need and that’s not how this works.” I cocked my head to the side, my frustration building.
He gripped my face in his hands, keeping me steady. “That’s not what I’m trying to do, gorgeous. I would never. I just don’t know if right now is the best time.”
I scoffed. “I have no fucking sense of direction at the moment, but I do have this,” I wiggled a little on his lap, causing him to stifle a groan. “I am coherent enough to know when I would like to stop talking for a minute and just have sex with my boyfriend. If you don’t want to have sex or you don’t want me, then just say that. Don’t turn this into something about my well-being.”
He removed his hands from my face and placed them on my thighs. His fingertips touched the exposed skin and it tickled. He let his thumbs lightly run against the soft skin of my innerthigh. I was about to get up and move back to my place on the bed, but he held my thighs tighter, keeping me on top of him.
River let out a deep breath, gazing up at me. His eyes were thoughtful yet determined. “I willalwaysbe concerned about your well-being. And I willalwayswant to have sex with you. Those are non-starters, gorgeous. I will never tell you how to feel, but you have to fucking understand that I will make sure that you want me inside of you because it will make you happy or clear your head, not because you think it will solve your problems or because you think you’ll come and your life will go back to normal.” He reached up and held my chin, brushing his thumb over my lips. It was a feather-like touch that had me squirming on his lap. “So look at me and honestly tell me that fucking me would make you happy, right here in this moment.”
I bit my lower lip, letting my hands run through his hair and bringing his face closer to me. Our foreheads touched and he placed his hands back on my thighs, inching them a little higher, but keeping his fingers away from the place I wanted him. His tattoos were such a beautiful contrast to my inkless brown skin, that it was hard to look away, but I focused on him.
He was waiting. He was being patient, like he always was.
My nose grazed along his and his breathing was steady, as if he was a master of self-control. “It would make me happy.”
I tried to kiss him, but he pulled back, giving me a tiny smile. “That’s not what I asked. Tell me those wordsspecifically.”
I moved on his lap again, but he held my thighs. I nuzzled into his neck, kissing the side of his throat before pulling my head up and pinning my eyes to his. “You fucking me right now would make me happy.” I brushed my lips along his, whispering against his mouth. “Please.”
His mouth connected with mine with the kind of fierceness that only someone who had a singular goal could achieve. River had this way of making me feel like the only girl in the entire world, even in a crowd full of people. We were alone right now though and every kiss,every movement of his hands felt meticulous and comforting. I moaned against his mouth, our tongues dueling together and I scooted closer to him, grinding my lower body down on his lap.
He was hard between my legs and the friction was incredible. He grabbed underneath my thighs and moved me so I was laying on my back. My braids splayed out around my head and I tilted my head up, missing the feeling of his body underneath me. He ran his hands down my thighs, kissing the inside of each one, back and forth.
