Page 39 of A Lesson in Obedience
I hovered my fingers over the keyboard. I couldn’t think of a response worthy of what I did. ‘I’m sorry’ just seemed stupid. I’d been out of control, just like Chancellor Fowler wanted me to be, like he’d known I’d be at some point. That probably wasn’t even the tipping point of what I could do.
I love you too. Always and always
I switched to the next unread message.
CORRIN
Checking in. Mom is headed to Samia’s shop today. She wouldn’t let me go with her because I’ve involved myself enough.
She has a point. Maybe you should take a step back
She sent me a shocked face emoji. Along with the one that was rolling its eyes.
CORRIN
I will disregard this bullshit you are spewing because you are going through things. But I’m not going anywhere, Riley.
I blinked down at my phone, remembering how all of them had rallied for me at Corrin’s house. I thought about how Marianne should have been one of them. No, that wouldn’t have even needed to happen if Chancellor Fowler just left me the fuck alone. I dropped to the ground, landing hard on the wood floor. I curled my knees against my chest, holding the sides of my head.
My skin was too hot and I pushed down every ounce of my telekinesis as I could. I didn’t need River coming in here and trying to make it better. I didn’t want him seeing me like this. My whole body felt like it was shaking, and I wanted to throw something, destroy something. I wanted to take all that power I had and blow a hole through the wall. All I could do was feel the pain beat against my chest, constricting my heart.
I removed my hands from my head and looked at them, sparks of flames were licking at my palms. They dissipated and started up again, over and over. The fire felt good along my skin and the smell was intoxicating. It was like something I’d been waiting for, something I’d been missing for a long time.
I had to stop. I had to fucking stop. I pressed my lips together, closing my hands and digging my nails into my palms, feeling the sting of pain. I returned my hands back to the sides of my head, silently willing it to just stop for a moment.
Beau was at my side instantly and nuzzled his face between my face and knees. He was trying to push his way through, whimpering slightly. I felt tears streaming down my face as I rocked myself through the pain. I focused on the weight of Beau’s body leaningagainst my sternum the minute he forced his way in. I sucked in a deep breath, my exhale coming off choppy and choked.
Mom, it’s okay. You’re okay. You always like to scratch my head. It makes you feel better.
He pushed his head up and even through my tear-stained vision, I locked eyes with my protective familiar.I don’t want to hurt you.
He leaned his body as much as he could towards my hand and licked it.You won’t hurt me.He licked my hand again.You’re a good person, Mom. Grandma knows it and so does everyone else.
I nodded, sniffing, placing my palm against the top of his head. I bent my fingers and started scratching, feeling his short fur along my fingertips. There was no heat there, my chest still hurt but my breathing was beginning to become easier. I leaned down to press my face against the place between his eyes. “I’m sorry I can’t get my shit together,” I said out loud, my voice muffled against him.
Beau tilted his face up and licked my nose.It takes time. You’re the strongest witch I know, even if you can’t see it yet. I found you when you needed me and I’ll always be here.He pushed against my body, sending me backwards so he could climb on top of me, laying down. His weight was a lot of pressure, but for some reason, it made me feel better. He had his face between his paws, staring at me.You’ll stop the bad guys. I know you can do it. So does Marianne and so does your dad.
Fresh tears fell down my face and all I could do was wrap my dog in my arms, letting him crawl closer to me, so that his face was in my neck. I sobbed against his thick body, making sure to not alert anyone outside of this room. My magic was quiet as we laid on the floor, but the thumping of his strong heart, a heart that loved me unconditionally, had me wanting to smile.
I felt much betterafter changing clothes and taking a shower, using the dark purple shower cap River got me so that I didn’t haveto worry about my braids. Beau waited patiently by the bathroom door, springing up the minute I walked out as if he had fallen asleep. I’d made sure my face wasn’t splotchy anymore from crying and gave myself the most lackluster pep talk, but it would have to do for now.
Beau was right on my heels when I descended the stairs, trying to be somewhat inconspicuous. Asher had a coffee in his hand and looked up at me the moment my feet hit the last step. His phone was in his hand and the grip he had on it was lethal.
He had on a simple black t-shirt that was tight around his arms and gave me a prime view of his biceps. The tattoo of stars was in full view on his forearm, and I couldn’t help but stare at it. I had to keep my eyes from going anywhere else because as much of an aggravating dick Asher could be, he was still insanely good looking.
He snapped his fingers in front of my face and I shot my eyes up to his. “Are you good?” he asked, lowering his hand.
“Yeah, I just— what has you so tense?” I pointed to his hand that still held his phone in a death grip.
He opened his mouth but then closed it, readjusting his glasses and shook his head. “It’s nothing, just school stuff, that’s all.”
“Shouldn’t I be made aware of school stuff?”
He tucked his phone into his pocket. “I don’t know. Did you get a teaching degree since the last time I saw you?”
I fiddled with my necklace, fighting down my urge to just punch him in the face. I watched him follow my movements. His green eyes that once held indifference, softened. It happened in slow motion, and I would have fucking recorded it if I’d had the chance.
He sighed as if I’d worn him down when I hadn’t said anything at all. “It was an email from the school to faculty, specifically from the chancellor.”
