Page 41 of A Lesson in Obedience
Distrusting fucking hurt.
“Riley…” His voice was soft and calm. I could tell there was a nervous tone to it that he was trying to cover up.
I shook my head quickly. “I have t-to…”
“Riley.” I heard Asher, who was a few feet behind him. The look he gave me was similar to the one from before. It was caring and sympathetic.
I placed my hand over my face, trying to wipe away the shock. “Ihave to go see my mom, umm…okay…” I heard a growl and looked around seeing Beau with his eyes locked on Grayson’s back, his food not quite as important anymore. Grayson looked over his shoulder, hearing Beau’s continuous growls.
It’s alright, buddy. Go back and eat your food.I thought, gracing him with a lackluster smile. He sneezed, then turned to head back to his bowl.
Grayson turned back to me and nodded, not trying to say anything. I looked down at his hands, noticing how his fingers twitched like he was itching to touch me.
“I have to go.” I didn’t make eye contact when I went right back out the door. I had tunnel vision when I made my way over to the passenger’s side of Asher’s car. Him saying my name felt like old times, it sounded like the Grayson I trusted.
That happiness was distorted when I remembered what he sounded like when he’d shadowed me to Chancellor Fowler, when I remembered what he said and what it meant.
Riley, I’m sorry.
14
Riley
Ikept readjusting my posture on the drive to my house. Nothing worked when it came to my overwhelming anxiety, but then River let go of the steering wheel and put his hand on my knee. He stroked his thumb along my skin, keeping his eyes on the road. I focused on the tattoos on his fingers, following up his arm to the other colorful pieces of artwork. I let my eyes get lost in their designs and before I knew it, we were pulling up to the driveway.
He put the car in park and I looked out my window, biting the inside of my cheek.
“I don’t know what exactly happened with you and your mom, but I’m sure she’ll be happy to see you.” River patted my knee, giving it an encouraging squeeze.
“Mmhmm.” I nodded, opening the car door and starting to get out. I quickly turned around and pulled his face to mine. Our lips met in a rushed manner, and he laughed a little, pulling away just enough to find my eyes. “Thank you.” I got out of the car, holding the door open.
“I’ll be here when you’re ready to go. My phone will be on.”
I furrowed my eyebrows. “Oh, my phone is still at your house. I forgot it.”
He waved me off, opening his mouth to respond when I heard my name. My mom’s voice was something I’d know anywhere and this time when I heard it, it gave off hopeful sadness. I closed the car door and turned around, seeing her standing outside the front door. She had her hands clasped together and she made no move to rush over to me, but just stood there, waiting.
Once I was a few feet in front of her, I noticed her neck had a few markings on them. They looked like bruises and it had me wanting to vomit. I’d done that and I couldn’t take it back. My lips suddenly felt dry and so did my throat. I didn’t know what to say and I didn’t want to just go inside without any sort of invitation.
She reached up, lightly touching her throat, and I sucked in a breath. I really couldn’t do this. Fuck.
I made a move to turn and leave. Maybe I could do this another day. A hand reached out and grabbed my forearm. She yanked me back and I practically flew into her arms. She held me close to her with a tightness that was nearly suffocating. I remembered holding her just like this when she’d told me my dad died. I buried my face into her neck, smelling her familiar scent and letting my shoulders relax.
“I’m sorry, Mom,” I mumbled into her neck, keeping her as close to me as possible. It didn’t even feel like she had any plans to let go anyway.
“I know, honey.”
“River doesn’t wantto come inside?” she asked, heading to the kitchen withme tucked into her arm.
“I told him to stay outside. I need to do things on my own, but he likes to hover.”
She chuckled, kissing the side of my head. She had to peel me off of her so that she could comfortably move around the kitchen. “That’s a good man. I’m grateful that he’s been taking good care of you. I was worried sick.”
“You really didn’t need to worry. What I did…”
She paused before opening the cabinet she was reaching for. Her face scrunched up into one of frustration. “I worry about you constantly, Riley. My worrying started the moment I found out I was pregnant with you and it’s not stopping anytime soon. I don’t care about what you did. I care aboutyou.”
“But, Mom…”
