Page 74 of A Lesson in Obedience
Riley let out a small chuckle, taking in a short breath when I delicately clutched her wrist. She looked down at my much larger hand. One of her braids swung near the side of her face and I wanted to take it between my fingers and casually play with it…like I used to.
“I can go with you to the Celica meeting. I can do what Theo did.” My heart was beating hard against my chest, but every word came out without an issue. No stutter, no mumbling. I meant everything I said. “I can be your shadow,aking sinta.”
She hadn’t stopped staring at my hand placement, but the minute the endearment came out of my mouth she ripped her handaway. She took a few steps back, colliding with River who held her steady.
I closed my eyes, taking in air through my nose and opening my mouth to let it out. I understood but I still fucking hated this. I pushed away from the counter, watching Asher run one of his fingertips over his eyebrow, looking as if he didn’t really know what to say.
“I’m sorry, Riley. Just let me know what you want, I’ll do anything. I’m at your disposal. I always have been despite what you think.”
River gripped her arm, but she brushed him off, taking a small step towards me. She knitted her eyebrows together as if she was thinking. She opened her mouth to speak but then closed it. Her shoulders slumped like the words she had wanted to say were gone now.
I gave one solid nod and turned around, walking towards the guest room.
“Grayson.” I heard her say my name the minute I closed the door behind me. I leaned against it, tilting my head back.
If she didn’t want me to go to the meeting with her then I would go without her knowledge. I just wanted to make sure she was safe. A small part of myself wanted to prove something to her, but I also just instinctively wanted to prove to myself that I was a good person. Even if I’d broken our relationship permanently or I never got to touch her skin or kiss her lips again, that wouldn’t stop me from always watching her and making sure she never got hurt ever again.
“I’m fine, it’s okay.” I heard her say from outside the door and then footsteps came closer. I moved away and the doorknob turned. I backed up to the other side of the room, focusing my attention on Riley and River.
She stepped into the room; her fists balled at her sides. River stayed at the threshold, watching her like his life depended on it. I was mentally preparing myself for all things she could say to me, all the venom she could rightfully spew in my direction. Her eyes scanned my entire body and she pressed her lips into a hard line.
“You’ll do anything?” she asked, her expression neutral.
“What?” The way she looked at me made my shouldersstiff.
“You told me you would do anything.”
I nodded, not knowing where this was going, but for her, I honestly didn’t care.
27
Riley
Istared at Grayson from across the room, my hands shaking at my sides. I had so many feelings: love, anger, regret, lust…. they were all too much and I had to work to swallow down every bit of need I felt to let all of them out at once. Every time he said those stupid fucking words, ‘I’m sorry’, I wanted to take them and shove them back into his mouth. They were just words and once they left his lips, once they were out in the world and floating around, they didn’t mean much anymore. I couldn’t do anything with those words.
They were justfuckingwords.
My mouth dropped open a bit, taking in a small breath. Grayson remained silent, flicking his eyes from River to me. I glanced over his features, at every inch of him and he looked defeated and upset. His deep brown eyes seemed to always have this look of pleading whenever I granted him my attention and something inside my chest sparked.
Just let me know what you want, I’ll do anything.
My lips pressed into a hard line and I peeked over my shoulder at my boyfriend. “We’ll be fine. You can go.”
I caught River’s skeptical expression and then he nodded, giving Grayson one last look and then stepped out of the room. The door clicked and I brought my hands up into my braids, lifting them off my neck and then letting them fall. My gaze fell to the floor, staring at my feet.
“Just tell me what you want, Riley.” His tone matched his eyes. Pleading, again.
I blinked and before I knew it, I was walking over to him. I slipped off my dampener ring this morning, leaving it in River’s room. My hand was still shaking, but now it was just tiny twitches of my fingers as I skated them over his arm, across his chest and towards his throat.
“What do Iwant?” It was a simple question that held so much weight. “I want my life back, I want my best friend back, I want that ‘ignorance is bliss’ feeling back.” He lifted his hand up to try to comfort me, but I swatted it away. My fingers traced his Adam’s apple. He watched me closely; his eyes trained on my every movement. I examined the way he swallowed under my hand. “You want to know what I want fromyou, Grayson?”
“Yes, Riley, just tell—” His last words came out choked when I wrapped my hand around the front of his neck. I used my powers to put pressure around his throat, pressing and pressing. I started to move forward, forcing him back with more of my power so that he stumbled backwards. I made it quick so that his back hit the wall and I kept him in place.
I wasn’t choking him enough so that he would suffocate, but it was enough to get his attention. He wasn’t clawing at his neck the way my mom had. What happened with her was uncontrolled, but this…this was different. My powers didn’t feel overwhelming in this moment, like they had with her. I felt like I was back in River’s bedroom with just him and I, his face between my legs with that sensationally content feeling.
I stood up on my tip toes and trailed my nose along his jaw. “You worked for Chancellor Fowler and Oliver St. James; you gave them your loyalty. You were scared, you thought you had no other options, so you did what you thought was best, hmm?” I pulled back, slowly nodding my head. “Say yes or no, Grayson.”
“Y-yes.” His answer came out strangled, but it was clear enough. I was giving him enough air, feeling his pulse point along my fingers.
