Page 18 of Christmas On Call
The room was dim, lit only by the glow from the hallway. Asha sat on the edge of the narrow bed, still in her lab coat, head in her hands. Even in the low light, Max could see the way her shoulders shook—just slightly, just enough.
“Hey,” Max said softly.
Asha’s head snapped up. Her eyes were red-rimmed, the careful composure finally cracked.
“I’m fine,” she said automatically, but her voice betrayed her.
“You’re not fine.” Max stepped inside and closed the door gently behind her. “And that’s okay.”
Asha looked away, staring at the wall. “I don’t fall apart. I don’t—” Her voice cracked. “I don’t do this.”
Max crossed the small space and sat beside her on the bed, careful to leave a few inches between them. “Do what?”
“Feel like this.” Asha’s hands twisted in her lap, fingers knotting and unknotting. “Out of control. Afraid. Vulnerable. I’ve spent my entire life building walls, maintaining discipline, staying in control of everything. And then you—” She stopped, took a shaky breath. “You make me want to tear it all down. You make me want to tear it all apart and let go of it all. But it’s so alien to me. You’re so… frustrating.”
Max’s heart clenched. “Would that be so terrible?”
“Yes,” Asha whispered, and the word came out desperate. “Because what if I do? What if I let myself want this, want you, and then it all falls apart? What if I’m not good at this? What if I disappoint you, or ruin everything, or?—”
“Asha.” Max reached out slowly, giving her time to pull away, and took her hand. “I’m scared too, but that’s what comes with big feelings. It’s not like either of us planned that kiss, right?”
Asha looked at her, surprised.
“You think I’m not terrified?” Max continued, her thumb tracing gentle circles on Asha’s palm. “My last relationship ended because she couldn’t handle the job—the hours, the emotional toll, the way I give everything to these babies and come home empty. I swore I wouldn’t do this again. Get involved with someone at work. Let myself feel this much.” She smiled sadly. “But then you happened. And trust me, I didnotexpect it.”
Asha’s fingers tightened around Max’s. “I don’t know how to do this,” she admitted, her voice barely audible. “Be with someone. Be open. My relationships have always been distant. Safe. Easy to walk away from when they became inconvenient.”
“And this isn’t?”
“No.” Asha’s breath hitched.
They sat in the darkness, hands intertwined, the hospital humming around them. Max could feel Asha trembling—small tremors that traveled through her fingers, betraying everything the rest of her tried to hide.
Max shifted closer, closing the space between them until their shoulders touched.
“I think it’s worse avoiding the intense chemistry between us. It must be pretty clear how badly I want you,” Max said softly.
Asha turned to look at her, and in the dim light from the hallway, her expression was completely unguarded—no walls, no masks, just raw vulnerability as her eyes watched Max’s lips.
She leaned in slowly, hesitantly. Max’s breath caught in her throat.
Their faces were inches apart. Max could feel the warmth of Asha’s breath, could see the way her eyes flickered down to Max’s lips and back up, uncertain and wanting. Hungry.
“Fuck. We should—” Asha started, voice barely a whisper.
“Yeah,” Max breathed back, but neither of them moved away.
Asha’s free hand came up, trembling, and cupped Max’s cheek. Her touch was feather-light, tentative, like she was afraid Max might disappear if she pressed too hard. Her thumb traced Max’s cheekbone with tenderness.
Max’s eyes fluttered closed. Her whole body felt like it was vibrating at a frequency only Asha could hear. This was it. This was?—
Voices in the hallway, sudden and loud.
“Did you see the schedule? Doctor Patel’s got that consult at seven, and then the?—”
They sprang apart like teenagers caught sneaking out. Asha shot to her feet, smoothing her lab coat with shaking hands, rebuilding her armor in seconds flat. Her bun had come loose—just slightly, a few strands escaping—but she tucked them back with precision.
Max stayed seated on the bed, breathless and frustrated, her skin still burning where Asha had touched her.
