Page 53 of Imperfections Forbidden
I walk over to my chair with her and sit down.“I almost forgot I have something for you.My favorite time of the year is coming up, and I’m starting early with you.”
“Where is it, Aunty Cat?”
“You wait right here with your mommy.I’ll be right back with it.”I go into the foyer to get the present out of my coat pocket.She’s going to love it; it’s a little elf on a shelf snow globe.When I saw it, the first person I thought of was Sasha.The elf is perched on the top, when you shake it the glitter swirls all around and it changes different colors when you turn it on.It’s adorable, like her.
I stop mid-step when I hear voices.It’s Nick and Kate.
“Kate, let’s not pretend, the only reason I’m here is because of Cat.”
“I know—” Kate stops talking and puts her hand on her stomach.“Nick, the baby moved!”Kate takes his hand and places it on her stomach.I want to leave, but I can’t.He looks bored and irritated, but then his face lights up, looking at his hand on her stomach.
“I feel it.Is that him moving?”
“Yeah.”Kate bobs her head up and down with a big smile on her face.
Talk about twisting the knife in my heart.They’re sharing a moment; I shouldn’t be here.This should be something between the two of them.
“Nick, I think it’s time we tell everyone.I’m starting to show.We know you’re the father so I don’t think it makes a difference; it’s only my family, no one else.”
He looks at her apprehensively.
I turn to leave, and Nick looks up at me.I try to smile but I can’t.“Hi.”My voice wavers.“I came out to get something I bought for Sasha, but I can get it later.”
I turn around as fast as I can and leave, dropping back in to my seat in a daze.
“Aunty Cat!”
I hear Sasha and hold my head up, looking at her.“I’m sorry, Sasha, I think I forgot it at home.I’ll bring it by tomorrow, okay?”
She looks at me with her chubby cheeks and her eyes shining.“Okay,” she says, poking her lip out.
I’m sorry I’m disappointing her, but I can’t turn back to go out there.I watch as Kate and Nick make their way around the room and say hello to everyone.When they sit down, I take a long drink of my wine.I’m going to need a lot of this to get through the night.I only have to hold it together for another hour and a half.I’m not staying a minute longer.
Dinner was torture.I drank too much and I couldn’t eat a thing.I felt Nick watching me the entire time.I couldn’t look at him once.I felt like everyone knew about us.I wanted to bolt from the table, but I couldn’t.
After the table is cleared by the person my mother hired to serve dinner, she clears her throat and stands with her glass in her hand looking down at Kate, smiling.“Kate has a special announcement she would like to make.”
The last announcement she made ripped my heart out of my chest; this one might stop it.She’s probably hoping it will.Kate stands, looks around the table, and her eyes land on me.She wants me to hear what she has to say, even though we both know what it is.She wants me to hear it from her.
“I’m pregnant.Nick and I are having a baby.”
I drown out the sound of the happy voices all around me.She hates me.If I didn’t know it before, I know it now.She wants to see a reaction, but she’s not going to get one from me, not here.I finish my drink and put on the best performance of my life.I stand up and hold my glass up to Kate, my eyes unmoving, set on hers.
“Congratulations.We should all drink a toast to the happy couple and the upcoming birth of their baby.Kate, you are my big sister, I love you.I’m overjoyed you have found the love of your life.A man who wants to be with you and love you for the rest of your life.You deserve everything he’s going to give you and more.And I sincerely mean that”—I put my hand over my heart— “from the bottom of my heart.”The best performance of my life.
My mother walks over to me nervously with her glass in her hand, like she’s afraid I’m going to say something I’m not supposed to.She doesn’t have to worry; I’m not saying anything else tonight.I’m ready to go home.
“Well, that was a lovely speech, dear.Every word summed up what we are all thinking and feeling.”
My dad stands up and kisses me on the cheek and I turn to him.
“Yes, I agree.Baby, that was very nice.There are so many things to be thankful for.Today, I’m most thankful for my family being under one roof together, especially Catherine.Nick, the newest member to our family, keep making my beautiful daughter as happy as she is tonight.”
For the first time tonight, since I saw him with Kate, I look at him.He’s looking at my father, his glass in his hand, and he holds it up to him and then holds it up to me.“I’ll try my best as long as she’ll let me.”
I need to leave before I fall apart.I’ve just got to hold it together a few more minutes.I can do it.
My father holds his glass to Kate.“Most of all I’m thankful for the new life you are going to bring into this family and for giving me another grandchild to love and spoil.”
