Page 21 of Someone to Remember
“She’s due next month.”
“My God.”
Maeve tugs at Derek’s arm. “Daddy, keep playing.”
“In a minute, pumpkin.”
When she goes back to her toys, Derek reaches up for my hand.
This news has landed like a punch to the gut. Even though I don’t know Taylor very well, I sure as hell understand what it’s like to suddenly lose a husband.Widowed a second time.Most of us in the group live under the assumption that we’ve had our great heartbreak, paid our debt to the Grim Reaper and can relax going forward, confident in the universe’s unspoken assurances that we’re safe from here on out.
This news is proof that it’s simply not true. None of us are immune from anything, especially tragedy.
“Roni.”
I realize Derek has been talking to me. “I’m sorry. What did you say?”
“Are you all right? You kind of checked out on me for a second there.”
“I can’t believe this. Like, how is it possible?”
He moves from the floor to the sofa and puts his arms around me.
I breathe in the scent that’s become synonymous with home and family and love and safety… The idea that he, too, could be ripped out of my life… He works for the president, for God’s sake… A random shot could take him out any time.
“Roni.”
I’m so deep in the rabbit hole of doom that it takes a shake from Derek to rouse me out of the spiral.
And then I’m crying in deep, gut-wrenching sobs that scare the kids.
Derek retrieves Dylan, and Maeve climbs into my lab, wrapping her pudgy arms around my neck and whispering to me the way I do to her when she’s upset.
“It’s okay, Mommy,” she whispers. “Everything will be okay.”
She’s only recently started calling me that, and it tugs at my heart every time she does. I cling to her and the assurances I need so badly right now. “Thank you, baby. I’m okay.”
It’s a huge shock to learn that this new life I’ve carefully built for myself could easily become another house of cards.
Dylan is crying, so I exchange children with Derek, my partner in all things in this new life, and cuddle my son. Tears roll silently down my face as I gaze down at him, my late husband’s twin.
It’s all so fucking unfair.
I want to scream on Taylor’s behalf. How in the world could this have happened? That she has to undertakeanotherjourney as a widow—and withthreechildren this time? She was so happy with Will. I saw that for myself, and it gave me hope when I was first understanding that my friendship with Derek could turn into something more, something like what Taylor had with Will.
Her kids adored him, too. Those poor babies, losing two daddies in one childhood, and the baby who’ll never know his father.
Dylan falls asleep in my arms.
Derek takes him from me and puts him down for his nap and gets Maeve settled for “quiet time” in her room. That often leads to a nap, but we can’t count on that anymore.
Then he comes back to help me up.
I let him lead the way to our room, where he settles me in our bed and then crawls in next to me, wrapping his arms around me.
“Whatever you’re thinking, stop it. Just stop. I’m fine, you’re fine, the kids are fine, and we’re going to stay that way.”
“What she must be going through…”
