Page 24 of Someone to Remember
I’m relieved to have him by my side every day, but especially on days like this. “Thanks.”
He hugs me. “Hang on to me when it gets to be too much, okay?”
And he always knows just what I need, which is such a gift to me in this new life we’ve built for ourselves. “So very thankful for you always, but more so than ever when the shit hits the fan.”
“I’m right here. Forever and ever.”
“Thank God for that.”
Wynter
I don’t knowwhat to do with myself after the call from Iris. I planned to clean out Xavier’s clothes today to pack up the things he’s outgrown and put them in the attic in case Adrian and I decide to have a baby together someday. We have no plans for that now, but you never know what might happen, especially now that we’re married. Everything feels possible after we exchanged vows.
But after talking to Iris, I’m still sitting in the middle of Xavier’s room while he and Willow nap in her room, staring at the wall as I think about what Taylor must be going through.
I fall into a deep rabbit hole of what it would feel like to lose Adrian, after everything we both went through to find each other and to build this new life together with our children. Despite his intense fear of childbirth after losing his wife, Sadie,when she gave birth to Xavier, he stood faithfully by my side when I decided to have Jaden’s baby after I learned he’d frozen sperm before his cancer treatments.
While I loved Jaden with every fiber of my being, my relationship with Adrian is different. Jaden and I fell in love when we were kids, before life kicked us in the teeth with his cancer diagnosis. It’s different with Adrian, more mature, grounded in grief and focused on our children, who forced us to grow up and deal with our shit so we can be the best possible parents to them.
I try to imagine what it would be like to raise Xavier and Willow without Adrian, and I can’t. I simply cannot. The very thought of it makes me feel nauseated and cold all over.
I’m still sitting on the floor in Xavier’s room when Adrian returns from a run and comes to find me. “There you are.”
He’s dripping with sweat and smiling the way he always does when he sees me after even the shortest time apart. He takes a closer look at me. “What’s wrong? Why are you pale as a ghost?”
I don’t want to tell him, because then he’ll know, too, that it’s possible for a widow to lose their chapter two. I don’t want him to hear that, but of course I can’t keep it from him forever. He’ll hear about it eventually.
“So, um, Iris called while you were out.”
He uses the hem of his tank top to dry the sweat on his face, exposing the defined abs I’m obsessed with. “Is everything okay?”
“She told me that Taylor’s husband, Will, was killed in an accident at work.”
I’m watching him so closely that I witness the exact second when my words—and the implications behind them—register with him.
“No way. No. Wait. They have a baby due soon, don’t they?”
I nod. “Next month.”
Adrian drops to his knees next to me. “This is devastating.”
“Beyond.”
For a long time, we sit next to each other, not touching but connected in our shared grief for Taylor—and ourselves. Having this happen to someone we know is unthinkable, especially when she’s expecting a child with Will soon. It’s heartbreak on top of heartbreak.
“Did Iris say how she is? Taylor, that is…”
“Not good at all. I told her we’ll want to help…”
“Anything we can do.”
“I wonder if she’ll come back to the group.”
“I don’t even know what to say to this. It’s got me speechless.”
“I get it. My brain shut down after Iris called.”
“Brings it all back, doesn’t it?”
