Page 56 of Someone to Remember
“I’ve taken this news about my friend’s husband hard. I wish I hadn’t, because my rational brain says it’s silly to let something like this resurrect all my old hurts. But the emotional part of me, the part of me that loved my Craig with all my heart and will never get over losing him so suddenly… That part of me is running the show tonight, as much as I wish it wasn’t.”
“That’s totally understandable.”
“I’m glad you think so, because it’s pissing me off.”
I feel the rumble of his low chuckle against my ear as he holds me close to him.
“Even a badass like you can have a setback every now and then.”
“I don’t like setbacks. They irritate me.”
“Yes, I can see that, but the thing about setbacks is they’re usually temporary. So it’d be foolish to make decisions about anything while you’re dealing with one. Right?”
“Yeah, that’s true.”
“So let’s table this conversation about what we’re doing and where it’s going until you feel up to it, okay?”
“That’d be good,” I say on a sigh of relief. “Thank you for understanding.”
“I can’t possibly understand any of this, but I’m more than willing to follow your lead through it.”
“That makes you a rare and special guy, Bernard.”
He scowls. “Only my mother calls me that.”
I laugh for the first time in hours as the tightness in my abdomen lets up somewhat, which is a relief. I carry my trauma in my belly for some strange reason, and when it aches like it has for hours today, it brings back memories of that horrible morning when I realized Craig was dead.
“Do you want me to go?” Bernie asks. “I promise I won’t be hurt if you say yes—as long as I can come back another time.”
“I don’t want you to go.”
“Oh, good, because that would’ve been a bummer.”
I look up at him, smiling. “Thank you.”
“For what?”
“You’ve handled today’s emotional firestorm just right, and it’s very much appreciated.”
“Tell me what you need, and I’ll do what I can to make sure you get it.”
“A gal could fall in love with a guy who says things like that.”
“The guy in question—if we’re talking about you and me, that is—would be fine with that.”
For the first time in hours, I relax and allow myself to wallow in the sweet comfort he offers so willingly. From the start, he’s been amazing in all the ways that matter to a widow attempting to start over after a devastating loss.
He listens more than he talks. He tries to understand while acknowledging he never can. He’s never once pushed me for more than I’m ready to give. And he makes me laugh—a lot. That last one has been a tremendous gift in addition to all the others.
“Bern…”
“Yeah?”
“Thank you for being patient with me.”
“You need to stop thanking me for things I’m happy to do.”
“Not everyone would be, you know?”
