Page 62 of Someone to Remember
Mike was devoted to his family and to flying. That was it. After he died, I found out he was also devoted to Eleanor, the mother of his other child, Carter, both of whom I’ve since met and formed a bond with. But Mike wasn’t emotionally intelligent the way Gage is.
“I see it, and I feel it, but I need to be there for them. In so many ways, my work with widows has given my life purpose that it never had before I lost Mike. Yes, being a mother is my primary purpose and the one that brings me untold amounts of joy every day. But my widows… They give me something I never had before, a feeling that I was born to do this work, even if that sounds nuts. I mean, who’s born to be a widow, you know?”
“I do, and I get what you’re saying. I feel that sense of purpose, too.”
“It’s different for you because you also had a verysuccessful career. I’ve done some cool things professionally, but I never had a runaway success until I helped found the Wild Widows. We’ve done so much good through that group and gained so many friends who are like family. It’s begun to feel like a true calling to me, and the idea of walking away from it because it’s hard sometimes doesn’t seem right.”
I glance at him, feeling shy as I ponder whether to share the other thing that’s been on my mind lately.
“What?” he asks, brow raised in inquiry.
“I’ve actually been thinking lately… just here and there…”
“About?”
“Your book… I was thinking maybe I could participate in some way. Not that you need me to make it great, but our story is pretty cool.”
“You’d want to do that?”
“I think maybe I would.”
“I’d love to work on the book together. I’ve been kind of all over the place with it. Maybe if we did it together, you could keep me focused.”
I get up to refill our mugs. “I don’t want you to feel like you have to take me on if you don’t want to.” When I return to the table, I find myself on his lap with his arms wrapped around me.
“As you know, Ilovetaking you on.” He punctuates that sentences with a kiss to my neck that sends a shiver through me and makes me giggle.
“Be serious.”
“I’m deadly serious about you.”
“Don’t say ‘deadly.’ It’s bad juju when we’ve had more than enough of that.”
“Yes, dear. And yes, I want to write a book with you. Let’s do that. We’ve got one hell of a story to share between the two of us.”
“So much for backing away from the widow scene.”
“I heard what you said about it being a calling, and I’d neverwant to get in the way of that. My concern will always be that you’re taking care of you—and letting me take care of you—while you’re taking care of everyone else.”
“Thank you for caring so much about me, and for seeing me the way you do. That’s an incredible gift to me in this new life of ours.”
He nuzzles my neck and holds me tight. “I hate that four people had to die for us to have this, but I love every fucking thing about this new life of ours.”
“I do, too, and I feel the same push-pull of grief and joy that you do every single day.”
“I honestly don’t think I could’ve moved on with someone who wasn’t also a widow.”
“That was the first thing that attracted you? My widow-ness?”
“Haha, as you know, the first thing that attracted me was your naked ass in my bed.”
I absolutely love when he brings up that night, which we still “argue” was an accident on my part, a case of mixing up the rooms in a weekend rental. I’m such a liar. It was totally on purpose, which he also knows. But I’ll never cop to that. “So that was the first time you were attracted?”
“Not even kinda, but that was the first time I couldn’t stop myself from acting on it.”
“And look at us now.”
“Look at us now.”
