Page 64 of Someone to Remember
Fifteen
Taylor
After another fitful night, the morning arrives with the surreal reality that Will is dead.
Will is dead.
I glance at the wedding photo he kept on his bedside table, the two of us, smiling, each holding one of the kids in our arms. A brand-new family and a happily ever after that didn’t last anywhere near as long as it should have.
I stare at his handsome face. That face… My God, he had me at hello with that face, perfect cheekbones, lips to die for and shockingly blue eyes that never looked at me with anything other than pure affection and love.
I let my mind wander to that first day he came to look at my roof. He’d been referred by a friend who’d filled him in on my widow status, which was actually a relief because he never asked to speak to my husband, like so many others did when they came to do work on the house while Greg was sick and after he died.
From the minute he arrived, he was nothing but helpful, sweet and genuine. I was immediately impressed—and a bitdazzled, if I’m being honest. It’d been four long, lonely years since Greg died when Will strolled into my home and seemingly never left. In all that time, I’d never had a single encounter with a man who made me think, hey, I’d like to get to know this one.
Until him.
It was immediate chemistry as we talked about the roof and other repairs I needed to have done to the house, things that’d been ignored as I dealt with more pressing issues, such as two young, grieving children. Not to mention my own despair over losing my first love far too soon, and after so much suffering.
The suffering undid me. I’ll never forget the helplessness of realizing there was nothing I could do to ease Greg’s pain or his despair over knowing his precious babies would grow up without him.
That suffering is why I stepped away from the Wild Widows after Will and I were married. I couldn’t bear to dwell in that space any longer than I already had. I give Iris and Christy and the others so much credit for sticking with it, even after they’ve moved on to happy chapter twos. I couldn’t do it anymore.
And now here I am, right back in the place I started seven long years ago when Greg died, leaving me with two young kids to raise on my own. This time, I’ll havethreekids to care for as a single mom.
I’m exhausted and hasn’t even been a full week since disaster struck once again.
I long for Will. He’d put his strong arms around me and tell me everything would be okay, that he’d make sure of it. Without him here to tell me that—and then make it so—it’s hard to believe that anything will ever be okay again.
Miles stirs next to me. As his eyes open to a new day, I can see the exact second when he remembers what’s happened. Within seconds, his eyes are full of tears that spill down his cheeks. I reach for him, and he burrows into my embrace, his little body racked with sobs that break my heart all over again.
How in the world do I encourage him and Eliza to have faith in the future when life has already been so incredibly cruel to them? How do I find that faith myself?
Oh, Will… We loved you so much. You were everything we wanted and needed, and you showed up right when we were ready for you. I’ve always believed Greg sent you to us. I hope the two of you have found each other in heaven and that you’ll keep an eye on things for us.
The baby chooses that moment to give a swift kick that makes Miles giggle. “That’s so weird,” he whispers since Eliza is still asleep.
“How do you think I feel?”
“It’s like having an alien inside you.”
“You were in there once upon a time. Were you an alien, too?”
“No,” he says, laughing. “I was just a boy.”
“He’s going to need you to show him the ropes.”
“I’ll be the best big brother. I promise.”
“I know you will.”
“Mommy?”
“What, honey?”
“I feel bad for laughing when Daddy is gone forever.”
“Oh, baby, he wouldn’t want you to feel bad about anything. He loved you so, so much. He’d want you to laugh and play and do all the things that bring you joy.”
