Page 14 of Someone to Remember
My parents hover close by, their devastation obvious to mebut not the kids. How hard it must’ve been to hold it together for them until I got home.
Iris and Gage take seats across the room, giving me space but fortifying me with their presence.
I hug my babies close to me as tears slide down my cheeks. Our gorgeous wedding photo sits on a table, Will and I gazing at each other, each of us holding one of the kids, all of us smiling and happy and excited to start our new adventure.
We got only two years of marriage, three years together. Nowhere near enough.
“Mommy…” Eliza’s little voice wavers as if she already knows what I’m going to say.
“Last night, there was an accident at Daddy’s work.”
Miles goes stiff in my arms, trying to break free.
I hold on tighter because he has to hear this, even if he doesn’t want to.
“Daddy took a very bad fall off a high place, and he died.”
Eliza’s wail of agony will play on repeat in my mind forever.
“No,” Miles says. “Daddy’s fine. We’re supposed to play catch this afternoon. He promised we would.”
“I’m so, so sorry, sweetheart. There’s nothing Daddy wanted more than to play catch with you today.”
Miles begins to sob, and when he pulls away from me, I let him go because my dad is right there to pick him up and hold him while I focus on Eliza.
“I don’t want Daddy to go to heaven.” It breaks my heart that she’s already fluent in the terms of grief and grieving at such a young age. “I need him here.”
“I know, sweetheart. I do, too, and he wants to be here with us.”
“Does this mean we won’t have the baby now?” she asks.
Her little face is wet with tears as a new heartache sets in.
“No, not at all. We’ll still have the baby, and we’ll love him with all our hearts, and we’ll talk about Daddy so the baby will know him, too.”
“It’s not fair,” Eliza says as sobs rock her tiny body.
“It’s not at all fair.”
“Did it hurt?” she asks. “Daddy’s accident?”
“I don’t think so. They said he died right away.”
My mother wipes her face with a tissue and then hands some to me. I wipe my face and Eliza’s while keeping an eye on my dad and Miles. Thank God for them, I think for the millionth time since Greg was diagnosed.
My sister, Amanda, comes in from the backyard and stops short when she sees me talking to the kids.
Normally, she’d come charging in and take over, but for once, she holds back and gives us the space we need.
“What do we do, Mommy?” Eliza asks. “What should we do?”
I glance at Iris, who’s also dealing with tears.
She gets up and comes over to sit on the floor in front of us. She reaches for Eliza’s hand and kisses the back of it. “You’re going to keep doing all the things you love—going to school and seeing your friends and playing softball and lacrosse. That’s what Daddy would want you to do. He’d want you to do the things that make you happy with the people you love.”
“Is he with my other daddy?”
“I’m sure they’ve found each other in heaven, and they’re talking about how much they love you and Miles and your mommy.”
