Page 18 of Someone to Remember
“You do the same.”
“Tell Taylor… Tell her I love her, and I’ll be there for her.”
“I will. It’ll mean a lot to her.”
“Goddamn it, Iris. Just God fucking damn it.”
“Yeah, for sure.”
We agree to talk later and end the call so we can notify the others of this tragic news. I’m dreading every one of those calls.
Christy
“Who was that?”my partner, Trey, asks after I put down the phone. “And what’s wrong?”
“That was Iris. Our Wild Widows friend Taylor, who founded the group with us, lost her second husband in an accident.”
His handsome face goes flat with shock. “Oh my God. No way.”
My hands are shaking, and I feel sick to my stomach.
He comes to me, puts his hands on my shoulders and looks me square in the eyes. “What do you need?”
“I… I don’t know.” For some strange reason, I want him to leave me alone, which is a first since I gave myself permission to fall in love with him. Normally, I can’t get enough of him. We have a rare Saturday without my kids because they’re at sleepovers. “We had plans… I just… I don’t know.”
“Don’t worry about anything. I’ll call to cancel the reservations. We can do it another time.”
“I’m sorry.”
“No need to apologize. I totally understand.”
He can’t possibly understand how this feels, but I love him for trying as he bends at the waist to hug me. I let him even as everything in me wants to scream at him not to touch me, to quit making himself so necessary to me now that I know how easily I could lose him, too.
“Christy…”
“Yes?” I’m stiff as a board and cold all over, as if Taylor’s tragedy has happened to me or some such ridiculous thing.
“Look at me.”
I force my muscles to move as I lift my chin to meet his intense gaze.
“You’re scaring me. Are you okay?”
“I… I don’t know.” I’m shivering so hard, my teeth are chattering. This whole thing reminds me of that awful day when Wes came into the house clutching his chest with a bewildered expression on his face in the seconds before he dropped dead at my feet from an aortic dissection. As always, I recoil from those memories.
“Babe… Talk to me.”
“I… It’s got me triggered.” I swallow hard against the huge lump in my throat. “I’ll be okay.”
“What can I do?”
It’s been so long since I felt this way that I don’t remember what it takes to get to the other side of it. After you survive something like that, you don’t want to think abouthowyou did it. You just want to be removed from ever experiencing that kind of trauma, shock and grief again. And now my sweet friend has been thrust into that nightmare again after already having lost her first husband. It’s unfathomable.
I realize Trey is waiting for me to answer his question. “There’s nothing to be done other than calling our mutualfriends to give them the news. I’ll want to see Taylor later, if she’s up for it.”
“Whatever you need, honey. I’m here.”
“Thank you.”
