Page 20 of Cuddles for the Bear
Wren seemed genuinely upset, and Devon still couldn’t understand why. He sat back in his chair. “I didn’t know you wanted to wear things like that all the time. I hoped you’d like the opportunity to get dressed up so that we could go out for dinner, or just explore so many places around here, or anywhere really. I am really keen to take you places when you’re ready, and I simply felt you’d feel more comfortable in more professional-looking outfits.”
“Professional clothes. Michael used to say things like that.”
Devon felt as though someone had stabbed him in his chest, and he wasn’t sure what hurt him more – the comparison to Michael or Wren’s flat tone. But Wren wasn’t finished.
“You told me I could be me. That I could make my own decisions. But you’re dangling taking me out in front of my face like a carrot I can never quite reach – just like Michael did. You tell me, ‘I’ll tell you about the claiming when you’re ready, Wren,’ which isyoudeciding when I am ready. ‘I’ll buy you clothes,’ but they have to be these ones that have no color and would make me look just like Michael used to look when he wanted to go out at night. I’m telling you my decisions, and you’re not listening to me, just like Michael. Do you know how I ended up with Michael in the first place?”
Where’s that coming from? I was just trying to do something nice for you.Devon shook his head. “You’ve never mentioned it, and I didn’t want to pry.”
“My grandparents didn’t like pretty things either. But I did. I always have. I loved pretty things so, so, much. My grandmother had one really soft and pretty shawl. It was a lovely pale pink, and she used to wear it to church on Sundays. I used to dream of touching that shawl and how it would feel on my skin. I wanted to touch it and stroke it, so one day, when they were out, I put it on. That one time I put it on, and my grandfather caught me looking at myself in the mirror in that gorgeous shawl.”
Tears were pouring down Wren’s face. “He knocked me to the ground and tore that shawl away, tearing it into strips as he was yelling about how I was possessed by the devil... How boys couldn’t be pretty, and how I was sick. He beat me so badly I could barely breathe, and before I could heal he’d called the pastor, yelling about how I was out of control. Two men came and dragged me away, and a week later I was at Michael’s.”
Wren’s chest was heaving, and his cheeks were drenched in tears. “You said you’d accept me as I am. You said there was nothing I could say to you that you wouldn’t understand.” He pointed at the computer screen. “Instead, I find you’re just like them – just like Michael, just like my grandparents. Drab colors, so-called grown-up clothes. I’m twenty-five years old, and I’m already a grown-up. A grown-up who wants to wear pink and pale blue, rainbows and sparkles. Warm and soft clothes that feel nice on my skin. Why is that wrong? Am I truly sick for thinking like that? Are you going to sell me off now, too?”
Running over to the door, Wren wrenched it open and ran out of the house, his sobs ringing around the alley. Gob-smacked, it took Devon a moment to move, but the moment he was out of the chair, his bear was one step ahead of him. His clothes ripped to shreds as he shifted, pushing his bulk through the door as he chased Wren through the houses. Wren was heading for the trees.
He'll get lost or hurt.Devon roared, begging for Wren to understand that he needed Wren to stop, to come back to the house. Wren looked over his shoulder and screamed as he kept running, and Devon realized too late that Wren hadn’t met his bear before, but he couldn’t stop. His mate was getting away.
Levi and Calvin came running out of their house, and Flint came running out of his. And they were all running after Wren, too.
But by the gods, Wren was fast. Maybe it was something to do with his animal side getting closer to shifting, or maybe it was sheer panic that was propelling Wren’s legs so quickly.
Please stop. Please stop.Of course, the words weren’t coming out right – his animal side was in control, so all he was doing was growling. It didn’t help that Levi, Calvin, and Flint were all running with him – there was no way Devon wanted to explain how he’d upset his mate so badly. He still wasn’t sure what had gone wrong, but it was Devon’s problem to fix.
Levi tried to stand in front of him. “Devon, stop. You have to stop, man. You’re scaring him.” Devon bowled him over as he ran past – he didn’t have time for that nonsense - and then Calvin was shifting because Levi was on the ground, his bull chasing Devon down.
Devon ignored them all. He just wanted Wren.I’m so sorry. I didn’t know. I didn’t mean to hurt you. Wren, please just stop!
Chapter Fourteen
Anger. Fear. Pain. Grief. It was as if every emotion Wren had ignored or pushed down, swallowed or held back over his twenty-five years had all decided to come out in one reckless act.
He was gutted he’d yelled at Devon, who had been nothing but kind to him, but he was angry with the man, too. Wren had seen how the men interacted in the Alley, and they were all proud of themselves – the way they were. Why didn’t he have the same rights? Why couldn’t he be who he knew he was inside?
Inside. That was where the fear came in, why Wren had spent so much time in the bathroom earlier. There was something moving inside of him – he could feel it stretching his skin, looking out of his eyes, tapping into what he could hear. Everything was suddenly so much “more.”
He'd been able to hear conversations between people on the other side of the road from him. His eyes seemed capable of picking up so many subtle visual details he was sure would’ve been too small to notice before. Sitting on the porch, for example, and picking out the color of a bird’s eye perched high up in a tree twenty yards away.
It was weird and overwhelming. Wren didn’t have a clue how to cope with all the added details his brain was receiving, and what was worse was that Devon wasn’t helping.
Look at you moving so fast and free. It’s exhilarating.The voice came unbidden in his head, causing him to stumble.
Who are you? Am I losing my mind now as well?Wren kept going. He had no idea where he was going – he had no destination in mind - but he’d felt like running his whole life, and finally he could.
I am the other half of you…the part that stayed hidden to keep you safe.
Safe?Wren wanted to laugh, but he was running out of breath.I’ve never been safe until Bear bought me here... And now they’re chasing me, too.
We’re among our own kind at last, and Bear is our mate.
I still don’t know what that means!
Wren couldn’t believe he had an “other half,” but it was typical that the damn being, spirit, animal, or whatever else it was that was inside of him was proving to be just as unhelpful as Bear.If you are part of me, why can’t you help me?
Ooh, yes. I can do that now. I’m just as free as you are. What do you want to be? Bigger?
Wren risked a look over his shoulder.You do realize there’s a big bear and a bull chasing me right now. We’d never be bigger than them.
