Page 34 of Cuddles for the Bear
“That was never explained. But if someone had misbehaved, they would be punished in front of the congregation and then, usually within a day, a black van would appear in front of the house affected, two men in black suits and masks on their faces would take the child or person concerned, and life went on as though that person never existed.”
Devon felt sick. “You were five when this was explained to you?”
Wren nodded. “Children under five are learning and growing, and it’s understandable if they don’t know how to behave properly. But once they’re five, they’re capable of controlling their behavior which is when they need to learn to be a productive member of the community.”
“I’ll let the agency know,” Devon said, still wondering how many children had been involved in the “Reckoning.”
“Remember that was all a lot of years ago. I don’t know what things are like there now…and I don’t want to know.”
Devon stroked Wren’s hand – the skin was chilled despite the room being warm. “Are you all right?”Can I hug you?Devon wasn’t even sure if the message went through. It seemed the chameleon had learned to block him.
“I’m not sure how I feel.” Wren shook his head. “You said that mates couldn’t lie to each other, but that’s what you did by not telling me about this earlier, isn’t it? You didn’t tell me the truth or share what was bothering you.”
“It was a lie by omission, yes.” Devon swallowed the sudden lump in his throat. “I was protecting you.”
“Hmm. It seems you don’t trust me to make decisions for myself, either, despite you telling me I could.” Wren’s eyes finally opened. They were filled with tears. “I hope you got everythingyour agency wanted. I’m sure you’ll be busy now, making a report, calling Cyrus or whatever you need to do. I need to shift – my chameleon is quite insistent - and I need to sleep. Don’t worry. I won’t break the bed by turning into an elephant.”
Tugging his shirt over his head – one of Devon’s, which had been the only thing he’d been wearing - Wren swiped away his tears with it before dropping it on the floor. Devon saw the shimmer as his shift started. A second later, a big black panther sat where Wren had been. The cat curled his lip up to show his teeth, and a low growl emanated from his chest. Devon braced himself, even knowing mates would never hurt each other. But he needn’t have worried.
Standing up, the cat gave him a long look before very deliberately turning around, showing his back as he settled down on Wren’s side of the bed. Lying his head on his front paws, the cat closed his eyes as he slowly flicked his tail up and down. No one could do a “fuck off and don’t touch me” better than a pissed-off cat. Devon’s own eyes were filled with tears as he reached for his phone.
Chapter Twenty-One
I did it. I actually did it. Look at me being out and walking around like a regular person – on my own.Wren couldn’t believe how easy it had all been.
He had woken early after a night of disturbing dreams he really could have done without, to find himself back in his human form. Glancing over at where Devon was normally sleeping, he noticed that his mate had taken a chair by the bed instead. He was sprawled out, his neck at a harsh angle, his arms dangling toward the floor, and that didn’t look comfortable at all.
Wren felt a twinge of guilt. He really shouldn’t have been so hard on Devon the night before. He understood what Devon had meant about protecting him – he’d seen and heard enough from paying attention to the men in the Alley about how important that was to a shifter. But Devon had specifically told him that he could make decisions of his own.And then turned around when the first important issue comes up, and made my decision for me – he didn’t even talk to me about it.
That hurt. As far as Wren was concerned, it didn’t matter how much Devon was prepared to spoil him. No amount of gifts or lovely meals out would make up for the fact that Devon didn’t believe he was capable of making his own decisions.
So I made one for myself anyway, he thought happily.
Wren had slipped out without Devon even noticing. His years of having to be stealthy finally paid off for him. When he left the hotel, not even the receptionist had noticed. It was still very early, and there were barely any people around. Wren inhaled happily, taking in the chilly air and enjoying the sense of freedom that came from just doing what he wanted to do. Notthat he had a clue in that moment what he wanted to do – it was the principle of the thing.
He decided to walk into town. It wasn’t far. There was a cab parked outside the resort, and Wren knew he could take that, get in, and tell the driver where he wanted to go. He even had money in his wallet to pay for the ride. But the taxi driver looked like he was sleeping too, and honestly, Wren didn’t want to be stuck in a car with a person he didn’t know. He was more than capable of walking, especially when he had no idea where he was going.It will be a good way of finding out.
The only problem with shifting the night before was that Wren was now hellishly hungry. Unfortunately, what Devon had said when they’d first come to Big Sky was true. Shops and coffee shops worked on very specific hours, and Wren was out too early to get anything to eat.
It wasn’t like he hadn’t been hungry before, and Wren took his time, wandering up and down streets, peering in the shop windows, enjoying all the displays that were still lit up from the overnight lighting. It was so much nicer wandering around when there were barely any people to be seen.
Anyone that Wren saw smiled in his direction, but they were clearly busy getting ready to open their businesses. Wren was happy to smile back before looking away. He wasn’t looking for conversation. It was enough for him to be considered like any other tourist taking an early morning stroll.
There was some agitation, especially the farther he got from the hotel. Wren was conscious of his chameleon side, being super observant and alert. But Wren expected that. He hadn’t been outside, alone, for more than ten years. Even back in Jorgenson, there was always someone supervising him. Gaining confidence would take time.
He could also feel almost like a physical tug in his chest, wanting to send him back in Devon’s direction, and Wren assumed that was part of the mating pull Devon had talked about. It wasn’t unpleasant – Wren was just aware of it.I’ll go back when I’m ready.It wasn’t as though Wren had any thoughts of leaving his bear permanently. Just the idea of never seeing Devon again made his heart hurt.I simply need to be on my own for a bit, even if just to prove to myself I can do it.
It was probably an hour, maybe more, when Wren finally found a café that was open for business. He’d given it some thought – how he should act so he blended in with other people. Which was why, when he made his order, he picked up a magazine from a pile by the counter to take back to his table.
He had noticed when he and Devon had been out together that people who sat alone were always busy on their phones. Because Wren didn’t have one, he thought a magazine was a great substitute, and he could read while he was enjoying his full breakfast with extra toast. His animal side definitely appreciated that, and Wren topped off his meal with the largest cup they had, filled with hot chocolate and gooey marshmallows. Pure comfort food.
This is what living looks like.Wren ate his meal slowly, skimming the magazine, giving the appearance of any other person with nowhere urgent to go. His thoughts weren’t as peaceful, though, no matter how much he tried to stay in the moment.
There was a good chance Devon would be worried when he woke up – not even a good chance of it. Wren knew Devon would be frantic, and he didn’t want that. The anger from the night before – that feeling of betrayal - had morphed into a deep sense of disappointment. Wren truly believed Devon cared about him,and for Wren, that feeling, while alien, seeped into his psyche and boosted his confidence.
I’m going to have to share how I feel with him, or it could happen again.In his mind, lying just wasn’t acceptable. Wren had been lied to virtually his whole life – especially if what Devon had said about his grandparents and the pastor was true. If Devon could lie about one thing, even if it was in the name of protection, then Wren would never be able to trust when he was telling the truth.
At least I’ve learned that lies of omission don’t stink.Both he and his chameleon had known Devon was hiding something, even if they didn’t have a clue what it was.Omission lies probably don’t smell of anything because no one is saying anything,which made sense in Wren’s brain, even if it didn’t make him feel any better.This being a shifter business, especially a mated shifter, is complicated.
