Page 37 of Definitely Not a Thing
“So I can ask why y’all broke up then?”
“Damn,” I laughed. “Uh… Yeah, I guess. Basically, he made it known that he was unsure about the relationship – unsure aboutus.And it just… it gave me this immediate, unshakeable…ick.Like, if we’re three years into this, I’ve moved in with you – atyourrequest – and you’re talking about you’renot sure… we can hang this up right now before you waste any more of my time.”
Calvin nodded. “So you wanted to get married, have kids, all that?”
“You know… it’s not even so much that I wanted to, more that… I thought that’s what we were doing. I mean, I’m not somebody that likedreamsof that stuff, you know? Like if it happens, I would welcome that with open arms, but if it doesn’t, I’llstillhave a great life.”
“Then why was it such a big deal that he wasn’t sure?”
“Because he’d beenactingsure,” I explained. “If you don’t know how to get somewhere, we can still head in that direction, switch things up if we need to. But don’t have me trusting you to get us somewhere, then we get halfway before you tell me you don’t actually know – and you don’t even wanna go anymore.”
Calvin sighed. “I mean… I get that, but… I kinda get him too, I think. I don’t believe you have to stay on a path you don’t want to travel anymore just because you started walking that way.”
I nodded. “I agree, actually. And I understand that people change their minds,really.But maybe don’t let someone else uproottheirlife, change their plans, make room for you… andthendrop the,actually, I don’t know about thisbomb. That shit was selfish.”
“I can’t argue with that,” he admitted. “What did you say when he told you?”
“Oh.And then I packed my shit.”
“Just like that?”
“Justlike that,” I confirmed. “My motheralwaystaught me to only let a man make me feel like he didn’t want meonce.You make him tell you twice, you gone understand why them folks on Snapped did what they did,” I laughed, mimicking her voice. “And I donotwant to go to prison behind a man.”
“Solid decision-making,” he said. “She taught you well.”
“I like to think so too.” I took the last sip from my margarita pouch and then stared at it, disappointed. “You said you had more of these?”
“Absolutelynot,” Calvin chuckled. “I already told you – nogooddecisions would come after a third one of these.”
“I’d like to be the judge of that myself,” I said, then immediately shivered.
“You good?” Calvin asked, eyes narrowing in concern.
I nodded. “Yeah, just starting to get a little cold, actually.”
“Oh – let me help with that,” he offered, moving to adjust the air con—no, actually. Iassumedhe was moving to shift the output of the air conditioner. He actually just moved closer to me, wrapping an arm around my shoulder.
Damn he smells good.
Which was acrazythought to have, considering I was basically tucked into his armpit, and we’d both been sweating. His skin was warm and dry now though, and comfortable – so much so that I reflexively relaxed into him, even as I said, “We know there were several options other than this, right?”
“Yeah, and I don’t see you exploring them.”
“Because you rushed at the chance to be all up on me,” I countered.
“That’s crazy framing when I was just trying to be a gentleman.”
I sucked my teeth. “Boy please – you just wanted to touch me,” I teased, tipping my head back to look into his handsome face. “Admit it.”
Instead of answering, he smirked. “I don’t see you rushing to get away.”
“Because I was cold, duh,” I said. “And you’re… not.”
“Well yeah, cause it’s hot – and we’ve been drinking. I’ve never met anybody that gets drunk and gets cold.”
I fake-gasped. “I’m not drunk,” I denied, even though… Iwasfeeling ever-so-slightly…relaxed.“This is nice.”
“You sure you’re not still cold?”
