Page 111 of Faking It Right
I helped ease him off, rubbing his back. “Easy, easy. Breathe.”
Ryker coughed a few times, blinking rapidly as tears formed in his eyes, not only from the physical reaction but from embarrassment. “The irony of me sucking at sucking dick,” he said miserably, wiping them away before they could fall. “How do people make this look so simple?”
“By starting in high school with smaller men and fucking it up a lot at first before getting good at it.”
“That doesn’t help,” he grumbled.
“It should,” I countered. “It’s not your fault your first boyfriend is equipped with what can only be described as God’s personal apology for male pattern baldness.”
It drew a laugh from Ryker before he heaved a defeated sigh. “Damn it, none of this is going how I planned.”
“Sex rarely does, snookums,” I consoled him, my voice gentle.
“But I want to be good at this for you,” he admitted, looking up at me with such earnest disappointment that my heart melted.
“I promise it felt great.”
Ryker pulled away with a scoff. “Thanks for the pity compliment, but we both know that was about as sexy as someone trying to slurp soup with a fork.”
“I’m not lying. Your enthusiasm alone is a huge turn-on. Knowing that you want to be good for me feels amazing.”
He remained unconvinced. “You get the best blow jobs from guys who treat your orgasm as if it’s an Olympic gold medal they’re determined to win, and now you’re stuck with a shitty boyfriend who acts like getting a participation trophy is the same skill.”
“Ryker.” I used his name, so he knew I was being serious. It was important for him to really hear me. “I’d rather have you and no blow jobs than be with anyone else and have endless blow jobs.”
His eyes widened at my vehemence.
“I mean it,” I continued, softening my voice. “This isn’t only about physical pleasure for me. It’s about being with you. You wanting to try this at all means more to me than you understand.”
“Really?” he asked in a small voice.
“Yes.” I guided him up from his knees to sit beside me on the bed. “Besides, this was your first attempt. Rome wasn’t built in a day, and learning to handle a monument like mine isn’t mastered in one try.”
That got a genuine laugh out of him. “I’m sorry, are you comparing your dick to the Roman Empire now?”
“Well, ithascaused the downfall of many who got too ambitious too quickly. Figuring out how to conquer Mount Dicksuvius takes strategic planning. You need proper training before attempting to scale those heights.”
He was fully cracking up now, shoulders shaking.
“Plus, much like the Roman Colosseum, my Cock Colosseum is an architectural marvel that leaves tourists in awe of its sheer scale. Both are tourist attractions that people travel miles to see, both make people’s eyes widen when they first behold them, and both have a reputation that sounds exaggerated until you experience them in person.”
Ryker was doubled over laughing now, tears in his eyes. “Oh my god, Mount Dicksuvius! And the Cock Colosseum,” he wheezed, wiping at his eyes. “I feel like I just showed up in Rome on a student visa to study abroad and accidentally wandered into the advanced architecture course.”
“I’m happy to play tour guide or provide souvenirs to commemorate your visit to my fine city.”
His next laugh ended with a snort. “I’m amazed you didn’t compare it to Trajan’s Column for being so tall and thick.”
“That might be the most romantic thing anyone’s ever said about my dick.”
Ryker tilted his head suddenly, a new thought occurring to him with a mischievous glint in his eye. “Wait, so if your dick is a Roman monument, does that mean when you come, it’s like Trevi Fountain spraying everywhere? Just shooting jets of white liquid while tourists cheer and take photos?”
The comparison delighted me. “Well, now that you mention it, the comparisonispretty accurate. Famous for its powerful water pressure, impressive range, and the way it makes viewers gasp in surprise at how much liquid can shoot out of something so beautiful. Though unlike the actual fountain, the ‘make a wish’ part usually happens before getting soaked, not after.”
Ryker was still catching his breath. “I’m sorry I couldn’t handle the full Roman Empire experience on my first foray.” His amusement faded into a self-deprecating smile. “I’ll keep practicing, though.”
“Don’t put that much pressure on yourself.” I took his hand, giving it a squeeze. “Do you know what’s better than a skilled blow job?”
He gave me a wary look. “What?”
