Page 79 of Faking It Right
The room erupted in a chorus of exaggerated cooing.
Sawyer pretended to gag. “You two are disgustingly adorable.”
Harley beamed and planted a theatrical kiss on my cheek. “I’m glad our love transcends time and space, too. Who needs fancy photo shoots?”
“I mean, a vacationwouldbe nice,” I countered. “Or at least having access to the funds for even just one of his on-location cosplay extravaganzas.”
“I’m starting to think we should charge admission for this circus,” Dad remarked with a rueful shake of his head.
“I can’t believe these people exist,” Gia said, torn between horror and fascination.
Harley laughed. “If it weren’t for his steadfast devotion to the past-life bullshit, I’d say he was too good for Maylin. But when they’re both waxing poetic about their cosmic third, it’s clear they’re a match made in some bizarre astral hell.”
The silence that ensued was deafening. We all stared at the screen, united in our collective trauma.
“Well,” Dad finally said, clearing his throat. “I think I need something stronger than coffee.”
“Make it a double,” I agreed.
Harley gave my shoulder a reassuring squeeze. “Look at it this way. At least Baxter stayed in the car while she was in here breaking our brains. Imagine the chaos if he had joined in the mayhem.”
“Don’t even joke about that,” I groaned.
Sawyer’s grin turned wicked. “I mean, I’m alittlesad he didn’t come in here so we could see what costume he’d wear for a night out.”
“Think of it this way,” Gia suggested. “You’ve inspired two strangers to find meaning in their shared delusion. That’s almost noble.”
“Yeah, I’m a regular humanitarian,” I said sarcastically.
“At least now we know why she brought a backup date,” Dad pointed out. “They’re co-conspirators in this cosmic romance caper.”
Harley’s roguish smirk stirred feelings inside me I couldn’t afford to have in front of my family. “Is it bad I kind of want to follow him for the expert cosplay?”
“You’d get the added bonus of having the one thing he wants most that money can’t buy,” Sawyer noted.
“That’s it. I’m changing my number. And my name. And possibly moving to Mars.”
“Don’t be dramatic,” Sawyer chided. “Block them both and move on with your life.”
I glared at her. “Easy for you to say. You’re not the one being hunted across centuries by the alpaca whisperer and her horny sidekick.”
Harley was far too entertained at my expense. “I wonder if this makes me the antagonist in Maylin’s romantic comedy or the villain of her forthcoming memoir,Eat, Prey, Stalk: Chasing Your Soulmate Through the Ages?”
“Definitely the villain,” Sawyer declared.
He practically preened. “I’ve never been cast as the villain before. I’m oddly flattered. Do you think I should grow a mustache to twirl menacingly?”
“Please don’t,” I begged. “You’d look ridiculous. And I really don’t want to kiss your caterpillar.”
When he started making kissy faces at me, I covered his mouth with my hand and shoved him away. I yelped when he licked my palm. Typical Harley.
The evening had been a disaster by any sane standard. My mother had invited my former fake boyfriend’s romantic rivalto dinner, who turned out to be a delusional past-life stalker accompanied by an equally unhinged backup date. It was a family dinner that would make for great reality TV. By all rights, I should have been mortified.
Instead, a bizarre calm settled over me. After surviving the batshit circus, nothing could possibly top it. Despite the chaos, I’d ended up exactly where I belonged, surrounded by people who loved me, with Harley by my side.
Chapter Sixteen
HARLEY
