Page 85 of Faking It Right
I cracked up when a thought occurred to me. “Oh my god, that makes Maylin his Hera! That’s perfect!”
“Because she was Zeus’s wife?” Ryker asked.
“Not just that. She was notoriously jealous and vengeful toward all of Zeus’s lovers,” I explained. “She’d exact elaborate revenge against his mistresses and illegitimate children.”
“Which aligns perfectly with Maylin’s claims about committing murder in past lives,” Gia pointed out.
Sawyer swirled her drink thoughtfully. “If Zeus was known for always chasing new lovers, and Baxter is perpetually seeking a ‘cosmic third’ spirit…”
“What happens when he finds a third who isn’t Ryker?” Gia finished.
“Mayhem,” I predicted. “Literal Greek tragedy-level mayhem.”
Ryker shook his head. “What kind of person would even want to be their third? You’d have to be either desperate or completely unhinged from reality.”
“Or someone equally obsessed with past lives,” Sawyer suggested. “Picture Baxter dressed as Alexander the Great, onlocation in Greece for one of his photo shoots, and he encounters some unsuspecting tourist he decides is his reincarnated Hephaestion.”
“And then Baxter convinces this poor guy he’s the reborn soul of Alexander’s famous lover,” Gia added with dramatic flair. “Next thing you know, they’re doing couples boudoir shoots at ancient ruins while Baxter waxes poetic about their ‘cosmic connection’ from twenty-three hundred years ago.”
I snorted. “Can you imagine Maylin’s reaction? ‘But our souls were intertwined across eternal lifetimes! We were literally Cleopatra and Marc Antony three centuries after Alexander! The cosmic timeline doesn’t lie!’”
Sawyer snickered. “If they ever break up, I’d love to see the petty social media post war Baxter starts with Maylin. I bet he’d throw in hashtags like #ReincarnationRedFlags, #SpirituallySwipingLeft, #AstrologyMadeUsDoIt, and #NamaStayAway.”
I applauded her genius. “You’re so good at that, I almost want you to create a fake profile and fan their flame war.”
“Maylin would probably start researching ancient poisons from multiple eras,” Ryker said, surprising us all by joining in on the joke. “While posting passive-aggressive stories about how ‘true cosmic bonds can’t be broken by some random guy in cargo shorts at the Parthenon.’”
“Or crash their destination wedding dressed in full Greek mourning attire,” Gia added, “ready to remind everyone how Baxter’s Alexander conquered the known world, but he betrayed the sacred third member of their cosmic throuple.”
“With a slideshow presentation of all their past lives together as proof they’re meant to be,” I suggested, making everyone snicker.
Sawyer took it further. “Complete with her artistic renderings of their supposed tantric sex positions through the ages.”
Gia nearly choked on her drink from laughing. After a few coughs to catch her breath, she said, “Is it weird I’m actually rooting for Baxter to find someone who isn’t Maylin? I kind of want to follow him to see how this cosmic quest unfolds.”
Sawyer snickered. “Do it. It makes it less weird that I’m already following him. I bet five bucks he’ll post about finding his ‘cosmic third’ within three months. The man is nothing if not committed to his spiritual odyssey.”
“And I’ll bet ten that Maylin will unleash a torrent of passive-aggressive comments on every photo with a new soul mate,” Ryker added with surprising enthusiasm. “Something like, ‘Our souls have danced together across seven hundred and forty-nine lifetimes, but sure, go off with this random stranger while I wallow in my lonely solitude.’”
“The drama would be epic,” Sawyer sighed. “I’d pay good money to see Baxter actually find someone else and witness the cosmic meltdown that ensues. It’d be worthy of the Greek gods.”
Sawyer cleared her throat. “Speaking of gods, I’m about to make Gia see some. Repeatedly. In our room.”
Ryker groaned as I burst into laughter.
Gia stood up to help Sawyer out of the hot tub. “Have a good night, boys. Stay a little longer, unless you want to take a crash course in sex ed.”
“And you say we’re bad,” Ryker grumbled.
Sawyer wrapped a towel around herself. “Try not to drown each other.”
“No promises,” I retorted, earning a middle finger as they headed into the house.
Once we were alone, Ryker turned to face me. “I think Ares and Dionysus might have more in common than mythology gives them credit for.”
“Is that so?” I asked.
“Mm-hmm.” His gaze lingered on my lips. “They’re both passionate, both misunderstood?—”
