Page 73 of Faking It Right
“I guess I’ll have to wait another lifetime to find you,” she sighed dramatically. “The wheel of reincarnation turns for us all.”
I nodded awkwardly, unsure how to respond to someone promising to stalk me across multiple lifetimes. “Um, good luck with that?”
Her eyes narrowed as she looked at me. “You better be straight next time. I really miss getting dicked down by you.”
My jaw dropped as Sawyer sputtered, coughing as she tried to recover from the shock of someone so prim and proper saying something so graphic. Gia pounded her back while her own shoulders shook with the effort of staying silent.
Harley had to cover his mouth with both hands to hold in his mirth, his eyes watering from the strain. The muffled snort that escaped between his fingers only made things worse as he doubled over, pressing his forehead against the edge of the table.
Dad suddenly found the ceiling fascinating, studying it with an intensity usually reserved for playoff games.
Mom’s eyes widened, her mouth forming a perfect O of shock. “Maylin!”
“What? It’s true,” Maylin replied with unapologetic nonchalance. “Our sexual chemistry has always been legendary. In our Ancient Roman lives, we once made love for three days straight as part of a ritual for Venus.”
“I can confirm that being with Rykerisvery satisfying,” Harley commented with a salacious grin that drew a huff from her.
Maylin stood, tugging at her conservative skirt. “Good thing I left my backup date in the car. I suspected Ryker would end up with another man again, so I came prepared.”
“Wait, you brought a backup date?” I blurted out, flabbergasted by the information. “Like a person who agreed to sit in your car while you came inside to flirt with me?”
She waved away my concern. “Oh, he’s fine. I left the windows cracked. It’s not even that hot out.”
“What the fuck?” I muttered.
“So now you’re going to pretend you don’t remember Baxter?” Maylin demanded incredulously. She gave me a withering glare that gave me a serious case of existential dread. “He’s been our occasional third since the rise of the Hittite Empire. You’re so unbelievably thoughtless in this lifetime. I’m really not a fan.”
Her finger jabbed the air at Harley like a sword. “This is your final warning to stop stealing my man, or Iwillkill you in the next lifetime to reclaim Ryker.”
Harley’s laughter died in his throat as he stared at her to determine if she was serious. The deadly earnest expression on her face suggested she absolutely was. But it didn’t stop him from cavalierly asking, “Why wait until the next lifetime?”
I elbowed him hard. “Stop antagonizing her.”
She scowled as she adjusted her purse strap on her shoulder. “Let’s be real. The prison system today is even more barbaric than that time I got shipped off to the Australian penal colony in the late 1700s for murdering you back then.”
Sawyer and Harley snorted at the word “penal” like dumbass fourteen-year-old boys, but I was too horrified to join their laughter.
“But that was hardly my first stint in the slammer for killing a romantic rival interested in Ryker,” Maylin added. “Lucky for me, life sentences don’t carry over to the next lifetime. Otherwise, I’d never get out of prison.”
With that bombshell, she turned on her heel and strutted out, her sensible shoes clicking against the hardwood floor as she left. The front door swung shut with a decisivethud, leaving a stunned silence in her wake.
For several long seconds, no one moved or spoke. We all stared at the empty doorway where Maylin had disappeared, trying to process what the hell just happened.
Dad was the first to speak. “Well,” he said, clearing his throat. “That was, uh,different.”
“Did she threaten to murder Harley?” Gia asked, looking around the table with wide eyes.
“I think she did,” Sawyer confirmed, still recovering from her choking fit. “Should we call the police?”
“And tell them what?” I asked. “That my mom’s hairdresser’s neighbor’s daughter threatened to kill my boyfriend in their next life? Yeah, I’m sure they’ll put their best detective on the case.”
“She did mention having gone to jail for murder before,” Harley pointed out, looking concerned for the first time all evening.
Mom waved her hand dismissively. “Oh, I’m sure she was just being dramatic. Maylin seems like she’s always had a flair for the theatrical, if her social media is anything to go by. Allher past-life regression posts seemed so imaginative, but it hits differently in person.”
“You knew she was obsessed with past lives and still tried to set us up?” I demanded.
“In my defense, Maylin appeared much more normal online. Her posts about crystal healing and aura cleansing were nice. And when she said she studied history, I thought she meant at school, not your past lives.”
