Page 22 of I Married Kayog
“No. We parted ways on good terms, but the relationship had more than run its course,” he said with an expression that clearly stated that this was a done deal, and not necessarily one he would want to revisit.
And yet, there was no animosity from him. He truly seemed to harbor no ill will towards the people who ‘raised’ him.
“I understand how you became an ace student, but how did you also become a top athlete?” I asked, still struggling with the difficult childhood he endured.
“I lacked proper physical activity,” he said with a wistful smile. “A part of my ‘rehabilitation’ included seeing a psychologist and a physical trainer. I wasn’t fat or anything along those lines, but I had no muscle, little stamina, and was overall low energy.”
“Let me guess, you took a liking to it.”
“Did I ever. Just like studying, it gave me something to focus on. However, it went even further as I could feel my body change and grow in a way that I really liked. It provided me with a sense of control that I never had before. My work and dedication could yield the results I wanted. For once, I was no longer a passive bystander when it came to the behavior of my own body. Then I discovered that I had quite the competitive streak, so that pushed me even further into wanting to excel in the disciplines I chose.”
I chuckled at the cute way with which he scratched the beautiful golden feathers near his nape. It struck me as a nervous tic whenever he felt embarrassed or self-conscious.
“So how did you transition into being able to handle crowds?” I asked softly.
“It was... a slow and gradual process,” he said hesitantly. “But to this day, I still mostly live isolated.”
I frowned and studied his features as if they could reveal the answers to the countless questions bubbling in my head.
“May I ask what your condition was... or still is, if it hasn’t been resolved?” I inquired in a gentle and somewhat apologetic tone.
He stared at me with the strangest expression. A sense of unease washed over me as he stretched his neck, his right hand slightly twitching before he closed it into a fist.
“I’m crazy,” he said at last.
“No, you’re not!” I exclaimed in a tone that brooked no argument.
“Yes, Linsea, I am,” Kayog said with a finality laced with resignation that left me reeling.
I held his gaze unwaveringly, my mind racing.
“Is that what your new song was all about?” I asked, tension seeping into my voice.
“Yes,” Kayog said in a factual manner, his face devoid of any emotion.
“Am I the dove?” I insisted.
Once again, he acquiesced with almost robotic stoicism. “Yes.”
However, something had changed in his demeanor. It had been building for a while, but my brain was only now registering it. A nerve was ticking on his temple, his hands—especially the index fingers—occasionally twitched. His back was stiff, and his majestic wings were increasingly pressing closer to his body, in that involuntary way bird folk often did when afraid or in pain. It was an instinctive response to protect our bodies from harm.
As I didn’t know if these were normal tics for him that I had not noticed before as I’d been too busy drooling and fantasizing over him, I decided to keep quiet about it for now. If they were standard for him, I didn’t want to point out something he might feel self-conscious about.
“The song said that I should run far away,” I continued in the same controlled and non-confrontational tone. “Is that what you want? For me to stay away from you?”
“No,” he said firmly, the sincerity in his voice acting like the sweetest balm on a wound I didn’t even realize I felt at the prospect of him not wanting to have anything to do with me. “But you probably should.”
“Because you’re crazy?” I asked.
“Yes.”
He stretched his neck again and glared in the general direction of the university. I followed his gaze, assuming there was someone passing by that he either disliked or who was doing something inappropriate. But we were still pretty much isolated, although quite a few clusters of people were now congregating near the entrance of the campus, as well as scattered in various areas around the building. Nothing and no one stood out in a way that could explain his reaction.
I glanced back at Kayog to see him retrieving a small pill from a secret compartment in his bracer. He popped it into his mouth, and seconds later, his pupils dilated. Some tension gradually bled out of his shoulders. He still seemed tense, even opening and closing his hands like one would after they’d gone numb.
I gaped at him in horror, refusing to let the thought creeping its way into my mind take root.
“What was that?” I asked in a much harsher tone than I meant to. “Is this some kind of medicine?”
