Page 12 of Whatever He Wants
His words bring bittersweet relief.I hesitate, then decide to risk the question.
“Matt too?”
He clenches his jaw.“Yes, but if I see him anywhere on my deck or porch, he’s gone.”
He turns to leave and I don’t stop him this time.Once he’s gone, I take another shower to wash away the sticky residue of Isaac’s cum from my face and my arousal from between my legs.But no amount of showers will ever get rid of the shame staining my soul.What I did with Isaac to keep a roof over my head is seared into my brain.
Matt arrives home just as I get out of the shower.A few minutes earlier and he would’ve walked in on me and Isaac.Guilt floods me, but I let it fuel my anger when I confront him.
“Where’s Isaac’s watch?”
He freezes, a shocked look on his face before he tries to hide it behind confusion.
“What are you talking about?Why would I—”
“Don’t even try to lie!”I hiss.“Isaac has cameras in his house.He saw you take his watch, and he’s going to call the cops if you don’t give it back.”
The colour drains from his face.His breathing becomes heavy, and he runs a shaky hand through his hair.
“I can’t.I can’t give it back.”
“Why not?”
He reaches into his pocket.
“Because I sold it to buy this for you.”
8
Isaac
My windows and appliances rattle when I slam the back door shut.I fled the basement, hoping guilt wouldn’t catch up to me, but I was too slow.This is the worst post-nut clarity of my life.
Jesus fucking Christ.
What did I just do?
The back door’s cool surface soothes my overheated skin when I press my forehead against it.I’ve been around guys who bragged about manipulating women.It’s like they won a game because a woman put their needs above hers against her will.After coercing Denise in exchange for not kicking her out of my house, I don’t feel like a winner.
I’m a loser.
Worse than Matt.
How the hell did I let my anger take over like that?I’m not a dumbass kid anymore who used to let emotion rule my actions.I’m almost fuckingforty, more than half of those years spent learning self-control.
But there I was, fuming in the basement as I waited for Denise to finish her shower.I wanted three things: teach Matt a lesson with pain, get my watch back, and make Denise and her boyfriend promise to leave my house.When she stepped out in just her towel, her skin glowing from her hot shower and smelling like flowers, lust overtook my anger.All I wanted was her.
None of this would’ve happened if she’d let me leave.I tried to because I knew if I stuck around, I would make a huge mistake.Instead, she sealed her fate when she offered to give me whatever I wanted.
No.It’s not fair to blame her.Matt started this mess by stealing from me, and I made it worse by threatening to kick her out if she didn’t suck my dick.Jesus.It sounds much worse in plain language.
I got into collecting watches because I’ve always been fascinated by time, and how it shares similarities with electricity.Both have strict rules.Both are invisible yet powerful.And both are measurable yet uncontrollable.But while electricity follows a loop, time moves in a line.Going forward with every second, the previous one lost forever.
There’s no going back in time, no undo buttons to fix fuck-ups or prevent them from happening.What I did to Denise changed our relationship, and it can’t be undone.She must hate me right now.
The incident in the basement replays in my mind, but the guilt that follows is dulled by awe.That moment when she released her towel will be etched in my mind forever.I’ve never allowed myself any detailed fantasies of her, but what I saw today was better than I could’ve ever imagined.
She was gorgeous.Fuckingperfect.And the sight of her on her knees as she pleasured me was the hottest thing I’d ever seen in my life.It took every last drop of restraint to stop myself from dragging her down onto the floor and filling up more than just her mouth.
