Page 50 of Unpredictable
“Wasn’t what?” He tilted his head to the side.
I swallowed. “It wasn’t just a bad dream.”
I shivered, ignoring the concerned look in Harrison’s eyes. My brain was so…confused. As was my heart. The more time I spent with Harrison, the more I liked him. But I lacked closure. How could I move forward with Harrison—or any other man—when I still didn’t know what had happened to Ryan?
In all likelihood, I would never know.
Even though his family and I had done everything to find him, it was difficult to accept the truth. Difficult to accept that he was gone. And as much as I told myself that I needed to move forward, to be thankful I was alive, sometimes I just wondered…why him and not me?
Harrison rubbed his hand up and down my back, the warmth of his skin seeping into me. “Do you want to talk about it?” he finally asked.
I swallowed back tears, meeting his emerald eyes, which were calm. Nothing like the turbulent storm raging in my heart.
“You don’t have to,” he added. “But I’ve been told I’m a really good listener.” He leaned in, butting my shoulder with his. “I’ve also been told I’m a really good kisser. You know—” he smirked, and I rolled my eyes “—in case you need a distraction.”
I laughed, feeling a little lighter. He could drive me crazy, but he always knew how to make me smile.
“Are you trying to take advantage of me when I’m in a vulnerable state?”
“Vulnerable?” He scoffed. “I’m the one who’s vulnerable. How can you expect me to control myself when you’re wearing—well, that?” He pointed at me.
I followed his gaze as it scanned my body. The thin camisole that clung to my breasts. My peaked nipples, begging for attention. The matching silky boy shorts.
“You’re one to talk.” I crossed my arms over my chest, which only drew his attention there. “Mr. ‘I strut around in boxer briefs with my fabulous abs and fantastic chest.’”
He chuckled, his eyes sparkling in the darkness. “Oh, you noticed that, did you?”
“Kind of hard not to.”
“So, tell me about this dream…”
I blew out a breath. Was I really going to do this? And where did I even start? I wasn’t sure I’d ever told anyone the story, except for Harper.
“Two years ago,” I began, my voice shaky. “Ryan and I were on vacation in Thailand. It was the trip of a lifetime. Paradise.” I could just imagine his gorgeous smile, the feeling of his hand in mine. “He had just proposed, and we were taking one last walk on the beach before heading to the airport and home.”
Harrison took my hand in his, swiping his thumb back and forth over my skin.
“The tide was low, really low. But there had been a full moon, and no one seemed alarmed. I only learned later that can be a sign of an impending tsunami.”
“Oh shit,” he said under his breath.
“Yeah.” I laughed, though the sound was devoid of humor. “Oh shit is right. The next thing I knew, people were running inland. And when I turned toward the ocean, I understood why.”
I closed my eyes, overwhelmed by the onslaught of memories. It didn’t matter how much time had passed; I’d never forget that day. Harrison gave my hand a gentle squeeze, grounding me in the present. But nothing could erase the past.
“Ryan and I started running, but we were sucked under by a wave that towered over buildings. I tried to reach out for him, hold on to him, but it was complete and utter chaos. I was swept under the water, something pressing on my lungs. I couldn’t breathe. Couldn’t think. Every time I tried to crawl toward the surface, it was only to be pushed back down. It was…hopeless.”
I remembered thinking I was going to die. Debris drifted around me, polluting the water, making it toxic. But I let go. Let go of everything, accepting my fate. And then, there was a shift. I was weightless, lighter than air. The universe bounced around and through me in the wake of my surrender.
“By some miracle, I was pushed above the surface. The world I saw seemed familiar yet strange. The water was being sucked back into the ocean, dragging everything with it, including me. People were screaming—shouting for loved ones or pleading for help.”
He sucked in a sharp breath, but I focused on the comforter as if it were a lifeline. I remembered reaching for a palm tree as I drifted past, only to miss. I passed another one, and that time, I grabbed hold, clutching the trunk. All I could do was wait and hope.
“I survived by clinging to a palm tree for hours. I called out for Ryan until my voice grew hoarse. I didn’t know where he was or if he was alive. But he was a strong swimmer. Surely, he’d survived—he had to.”
At least that’s what I’d told myself as I clutched the tree for hours, my body racked with pain. That’s what I’d told myself when the paramedics arrived and took me to the hospital. And that’s what I’d told myself weeks later when I was finally discharged from the hospital, doing my best to repair the damage to my body as well as my heart.
“It’s been over two years, and there’s still been no sign of him.” I hung my head, unable to stem the tears.
