Page 9 of Unpredictable
“Thank you!” He threw his arms around me for a hug. “I’m so excited.” He leaned back, suddenly serious. “And I promise that I will do my utmost to execute every event to your high standards.”
“I know you will.” I smiled.
We sat there a while longer, drinking and planning for the future, and it felt good. It feltreallygood, especially after what had happened this morning.
But when Landon excused himself to the restroom, I tried to make sense of what had gone wrong. As I sat there, staring at the contents of my glass, I tried to reconcile my behavior. Why was I so stuck in the past? Why couldn’t I let go?
Maybe because I still didn’t know what had happened. It had been two years—to the day—since Ryan had disappeared, and I was still no closer to answers.
For the first year, I’d remained hopeful, optimistic. I was certain he was out there and he would return to me. It was only a matter of time. But as the months dragged on, turning into one year and now two, my hope waned. In my heart, I knew it was time to move on, but I couldn’t seem to take that next step.
“Life is funny, isn’t it?” I mused aloud, more to my glass than anyone. “Unpredictable. Uncontrollable.”
“That’s part of the fun,” said a deep voice to my right.
I snapped my head up, my eyes colliding with a pair of the most unusual green eyes I’d ever seen. The green of a rare emerald—clear and without imperfections. His gaze was warm, and his gentle smile formed crinkles next to his eyes. I didn’t know if it was the alcohol or my grief, but he looked like an older, more muscular version of Ryan.
I sucked in a sharp breath as I took him in, feeling as if I were staring at my future husband. Despite the silver in his hair and the scruff lining his chiseled jaw, he was still very much in his prime. If anything, the years only added to his appeal. He wasn’t Ryan, of course. But my heart wanted to believe he was, even if only for a moment.
“Is it?” I asked. “In my experience, change is neither good nor fun.”
“Ah.” His expression was knowing. “Spoken like a true control freak.”
“I-I am not.” I glared at him, annoyed by his assessment. His assumptions. He knew nothing about me. And yet, his comment was infuriatingly correct.
“She is,” Landon interrupted.
I startled and leaned away from this strange man who had me feeling things I hadn’t felt, well…not for a long time now. Things I’d never expected to feel again. I turned to Landon, glaring at him.
“Well, boss,” he said, and it felt as if he was making a point of using the title. “I’m going to head out. Have fun!” He waggled his fingers, shooting me a wicked smile behind the sexy stranger’s back. I waved, fully aware that he was ditching me.
As I lifted my glass to my lips, I said, “I can go with the flow.”
“Can you?” The man leaned in so his breath grazed the shell of my ear. It sent goose bumps racing down my spine. “When was the last time you did something spontaneous? Something…unpredictable?”
“I…” I frowned down at the bar.
When was the last time I’d done something unexpected? Something that wasn’t part of my schedule? Not since before Ryan’s disappearance.
“Just as I thought.” I could hear the smile in his voice, and I turned to look at him and immediately regretted it. He was too handsome, too tempting, despite his smug grin. “You need to learn to let go.”
The way his eyes pierced mine made me feel exposed, vulnerable. Though he couldn’t possibly know about what had happened with Ryan, it felt as if he did.
I let out a shaky breath, surprised by my response to him. Surprised by the way this stranger made me feel as if he knew all my secrets, all my desires and fears. “I…” I swallowed. “I don’t know if I can,” I whispered.
“I’ll tell you a secret,” he said, and I placed my hand on his knee to steady myself. “Control is an illusion. It’s only when you realize that you have no control—that’s when you’ll be free.”
He made it sound so simple. Though the idea of being free was incredibly tempting. Ever since Ryan’s disappearance, my life had felt chaotic. And the more I attempted to control things, the more I struggled. The only place I felt any shred of confidence and authority was at work—probably why I was so successful as an event planner.
“Maybe you’re right.” I sipped my drink. There was a certain logic to what he said.
“There’s no maybe.” He grinned.
On another man, I would’ve found his confidence annoying, but it suited him. He seemed so self-assured, so calm, that I couldn’t help but be drawn to him. He made me want to relinquish control, to surrender to him.
He scanned up my legs, his gaze appreciative. I shifted in my seat, my libido roaring to life after lying dormant all this time. Maybe this was a sign. Maybe this delicious man was the universe’s way of telling me to take that step forward.
A little over a year ago, my best friend Lauren, had challenged me to do something that scared me. Since then, what did I have to show for it? I was pretty sure putting the picture of Ryan and me in the drawer of my nightstand didn’t count. Nor did the fact that I no longer wore my engagement ring. Though that was more out of self-preservation than anything else. When people saw it, they inevitably asked questions, made assumptions.
