Page 65 of Unpredictable
“Bye, Blair bear.” I squeezed her close, and she giggled when I kissed her neck.
Once they’d gone, Harrison crossed the room, placing a kiss on my cheek. “Hey. How are you?”
“Good,” I sighed, falling into his touch. “Better now that you’re here.”
“It was nice to finally meet one of your friends,” he said, placing his hands on my hips. “She seems nice. Did she just stop by for a visit?”
“I’m planning her daughter Sophia’s birthday party.”
“Ah.” He tilted his head back. “You looked happy—holding the baby.”
“I love her girls. Sophia is sassy and smart. And Blair—” I shook my head, my lips curling into a smile. “She was an unexpected surprise. And she’s such a sweet baby.”
“Oh boy.” He chuckled, pulling me into his side. “Do I have to worry about you getting baby fever?”
I narrowed my eyes at him. “I can admire a baby without wanting one for myself.”
“You sure?” His eyes searched mine. “Because it suited you. Motherhood would suit you.”
I turned away, busying myself with some papers on the conference table. “I told you. I wanted kids, once upon a time. But not anymore.”
“Juliana.” His tone was solemn, asking me to take notice. “Just because I don’t want to have more children doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have them if you want them. I don’t want you to miss out on something by being with me.”
I spun and met his gaze, mine unwavering. “I’m not missing out on anything.”
I knew what it was like to miss out on life. I’d spent the past two years missing out.
I was happy now, fulfilled. At one point, I’d wanted kids; now, I didn’t. My outlook on life had changed, as had my goals. I was fulfilled and content with my job, myself. In my friendships and my relationship with Harrison.
“Yeah, but…have you given this enough thought? I’m…older. Significantly older than you. Men often die before women.”
“Stop.” I marched over to him and pressed my lips to his. “Please.” My heart accelerated at his words, at the prospect of losing him. And it only made me realize just how much I cared about him. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
I didn’t want to think about it. If I did, I’d go back to being alone. Closing off my heart again because I was afraid. And I didn’t want to be miserable anymore.
“I think we should—” he brushed my hair over my shoulder “—talk about it if we’re going to be together.”
I pursed my lips, trying to understand where this conversation had come from. Was it just about kids, or was there something more going on? “What happened to Mr. ‘we can’t control the future’?”
“I’m not trying to control the future. I’m trying to be realistic.”
“Realistic?” I scoffed. Was it realistic to think you’d lose the man you loved while on vacation? Was it realistic to imagine that we’d only have a few years together instead of a lifetime? I shook my head. “If the tsunami taught me anything, it’s that there are no guarantees. I could be struck by a car tomorrow. You could well outlive me.”
“Juliana.” He cupped my cheek, his eyes pleading. “Don’t talk like that.”
I closed my eyes briefly, willing myself to stay calm. I understood where he was coming from; I did. But I didn’t want to think about the possibilities. I didn’t want to contemplate losing him.
“There’s only one thing I need to know.” I stared into his eyes, feeling the weight of the moment. “Do you want to be with me?”
“Of course.” He leaned his forehead to mine, our breath mingling.
“I want to be with you,” I said, holding his gaze, letting him know there was no one else for me. “And since when do you get hung up on future what-ifs?” I teased, thinking about all the times he’d told me to let go.
His shoulders relaxed. “You’re right. I just—I want you to be happy.”
He pulled me into his arms, holding me close. We were a perfect fit, and I knew that I was where I was meant to be. I inhaled his scent, listened to the beat of his heart, and I surrendered to the moment. To this man. To the realization that I loved him.
“You okay?” He rubbed my back.
