Page 65 of Discretion
Finally relenting, I placed my hand in his. He slid his hand down to my wrist, and I tried to fight the response his touch had provoked. Heat. A shiver of desire. Something settling deeper within my core.
With his fingers around my wrist, he positioned me so my fingers pointed toward the ceiling. He used the index finger of his other hand to trace up the outside of my thumb, eliciting another shiver.
“Each time my finger traces up your finger, breathe in,” he said, pausing at the tip of my thumb, waiting for me to do so.
I inhaled a shaky breath, every single cell—no, every single atom—focused on the point of connection.
“Now, exhale,” he said, followed by another shaky breath out from me as he traced down the opposite side of my finger.
“Good,” he coaxed, his voice liquid honey. “And breathe in.”
Up my index finger he went, and when he paused at the tip of my finger, I finally lifted my gaze to his.I licked my lips, and his eyes tracked the movement. His nostrils flared, and when his eyes met mine again, they were hooded.
“Breathe out,” he rasped, sliding his finger down the other side of mine. “Focus on your breath.” He ascended my middle finger. Another breath. Another pause. My heart felt as if it might beat out of my chest. Another descent.
As he traced up my ring finger, he said, “Focus on the feel of my finger tracing yours.”
I had no problem focusing on the feel of his skin on mine. I was, however, struggling to remember why this was a bad idea.
Finally, he finished with my pinkie finger, slowly releasing my hand. “Feel calmer?”
I certainly felt…something. And while I wouldn’t say I felt calmer, I definitely felt a lot more present. It was as if we had zeroed in on this moment, and I was fully in it.
But since I wasn’t willing to admit all that, I merely nodded. The exercise had had its desired effect. Well…at least partially.
“Think Kai could manage that?”
Right. Kai.Jasper had been demonstrating the five-finger breathing for Kai.
I was flirting with danger. And Jasper’s question was a powerful reminder of everything that was at stake. Kai. My family. Jasper’s family. At the end of the day, I could want Jasper, but I couldn’t have him. Not in any meaningful way.
I cleared my throat. “Definitely. I like how simple it is. He could do it anywhere, at any time.”
“Precisely.”
Do you have any others?” I asked, needing to distract myself while keeping the focus firmly on my son.
Kai was a huge reason why I needed to maintain my distance from Jasper. Even if everything in me wanted to beg for more.
“You can do the 5-4-3-2-1 method.” Which Jasper explained as a grounding exercise using the five senses. “But here’s a condensed version. What’s one thing you smell?”
I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply. “I smell…cookies.” I furrowed my brow. “No, almond extract. That’s what it smells like. Like the cookies my mom makes every Christmas.”Like home.
Jasper’s dark chuckle threaded through me, lighting me up, not allowing me to dwell on thoughts of my parents or how different Christmas might be this year.
“That’s my soap.”
My eyes popped open. “You—” I cleared my throat, quickly trying to backtrack and cover my misstep. “I mean,itsmells good.”
The corner of his mouth twitched. “What’s one thing you feel?”
I was tempted to mention the soothing warmth and weight of his jacket wrapped around me, but I was determined to get back on track. So instead, I said, “The cold, hard concrete beneath my ass.”
“Agreed. These stairs were not designed for comfort.”
“Definitely not.” I wiggled a little, trying to get comfortable. My body was sore from sitting so long on the chilly surface. “God.” I groaned. “I hope we aren’t stuck in here all night.”
“What’s one thing you taste?” Jasper asked, perhaps in a bid to distract me.
