Page 150 of Holding You
My eyes sting.
“I miss him, and it’s only been a week.”
Crying in front of my entire family wasn’t on my bingo card at any point in my life, but here I am, doing it anyway.
My dad is the first to stand and hug me. “Oh, Ruby, if it feels wrong to be here without them, why didn’t you go?”
“Because that would mean I’m leaving this place again for another guy. The rumors were bad enough before; I can only imagine what they would be like this time.”
To my surprise, Miles laughs.
Quinn elbows him. “Stop.”
“I’m sorry.” He holds up his hands. “It’s not funny. None of this is funny. It’s just that I hate to break it to you, Ruby, but you’re an Asher. We all found a way to self-sabotage ourselves over the person we love, and this is your turn.”
“And that’s funny because?”
“Because this is also the moment where you figure it out.”
I huff.
“But I’m not. I’m confused and scared and?—”
“Do you love him?” Hudson asks.
I nod. “Like a stupid amount.”
“And you want to be with him?” Luca asks.
“Yes.”
“And do you truly care what anyone thinks?” Miles asks.
“I …”
It’s a question I’ve asked myself many times, but for some reason, sitting here with my family, it processes differently in my mind.
No, I don’t care what the town thinks. I care about how the rumors affect my family.
“I care that you all have to walk around town and hear whatpeople think of me, and I feel like when I make bad choices, I let you down.”
“Let us down? How in the hell do you do that?” Hudson asks, and I can see in his eyes that it’s a genuine question.
“Everyone thinks I left to follow Colt because his?—”
“We know why you left,” my dad cuts in. “Look at the life you have given Max. It’s incredible the choice you made.”
“What?”
“You’re the most selfless person we know, Ruby,” Miles adds. “These people can say anything they want, but we don’t listen. They don’t know you.”
“Yeah, it’s a little intimidating how awesome you are.” Luca grins.
“Let’s not forget that you do it all on your own as a fucking mom. It’s impressive as shit, Ruby.”
I have no words.
They’re proud of me? But they never say anything.
