Page 124 of Holding You
It’s officially been one week since we got home from Vegas, and I don’t think I can keep this secret for much longer.
The tension at home is painful, and Declan and I keep finding ourselves in these little moments. His hand brushes my back while we pass each other in the kitchen or I look up from my work at the kitchen table to find him watching me. Or we are watching a movie with the kids and his arm finds its way to the back of the couch and his fingers play with my hair. Just being in the same room as him is tempting, and I swear—I swear—that despite how casually he left things in that hotel room, he’s finding any reason to touch me.
Not to mention the way he compliments me on everything I do.
It’s … he’s … I don’t know what to do anymore.
Do I tell him that I take it back? What if he doesn’t agree because it’s complicated? Do I just keep going how we are and pray neither of us snaps and ruins everything?
Which is why I have decided that keeping it bottled up is the wrong answer and, if I share my worries with the ones I trust themost, maybe I can get different perspectives and decide how to proceed.
Declan and Susie have only seven more weeks with us, and I don’t want to ruin the rest of the summer by making the wrong choice.
Like always, I walk right into Brooke’s house as if I own it.
I make a mimosa, grab a turkey and pesto sandwich Brooke made, and join the girls outside on the back patio.
Shay wasn’t feeling well, so she stayed home.
Quinn is telling us why she will be gone for only two weeks on her next trip—apparently, that’s the time limit on how long she and Miles can be separated.
It’s cute.
I’m happy my brother found her.
I down my mimosa, stand to make another, then notice all eyes are on me.
“What?”
They exchange glances with each other, and Sadie smirks.
“Is everything okay?”
I nod. “Yes.”
“Are you sure?”
I nod, but it quickly turns into a head shake. “I need advice.”
I flop back into my seat, leaning my head onto the back of the couch, where I close my eyes.
“Declan and I had sex in Vegas, and we agreed to keep it there, but now I’m not so sure that’s what I want. He seems to be fine with it, or at least, he’s hiding it better than me.”
“Wow,” Sadie says. “This is huge.”
“I know, and it’s complicated for so many reasons, but I was so wrong about him, you guys. I hate that I disliked him for so long.”
“Aww,” Grace says and then rests her chin in her hands. “So, what now?”
“That’s what I need advice for. I don’t know how to go about this. I’m sure he has his reasons for why this couldn’t go on, but I don’t know what they are. We just agreed.”
“Then I say that’s where you start.” Brooke nods. “What are your reasons?”
“The kids for one, and …”
“And …” Quinn encourages me.
“I don’t want people to think that I only like men who have money.”
