Page 42 of Pack Me Up
“Brittney,” Colton says, all joking stripped away, “we would be honored to help you through that in whatever way you want.”
I shake my head, words rushing now. “Not just that. Oli thinks it’ll happen before the tour, or maybe during. She said I can either try to make it happen now or take blockers to try to push it off, but that can make it worse.” I keep my eyes fixed on the thread in my shirt.
Saint leans forward. “What do you want?”
The question stuns me. I was ready for logistics, not for feelings.
“I don’t want the suppressants,” I say, voice barely above a whisper. “I’ve had them before, and I hated them. They made me feel like I was… in someone else’s body. I couldn’t sleep or think. Sometimes I’d just sit in the shower for hours because it was the only place I felt anything.”
Cody’s gaze sharpens, and even Hunter goes still.
Nobody says anything for a moment. And the tension in the room ramps up.
“I think,” I say, and I have to swallow to keep my voice steady, “I want it to happen before the tour, and if you’re willing, I want to have it with you all.”
Fox still hasn’t looked up. I feel the ache in my chest sharpen when I see how tense his hands are, knuckles blanched, veins a spiderweb under the skin.
“Of course, we want to be there with you. It’s an honor,” Hunter declares, and the other alphas nod.
“So, how do we make sure it happens before the tour?”
“Physical touch and proximity,” Fox finally says something. “The more time she spends with her alphas, the faster it will come.”
I want to thank him, but the words won’t come. I watch as he fades even further into the background, becoming a shadow in the corner of the room.
Saint nods, accepting the decision as final. “We’ll need to set a schedule and make sure someone’s with you at all times. It will be a good way to keep getting to know each other, too.”
I nod. “That sounds great.”
“I’ll take first shift,” Hunter volunteers, but there’s someone I need to talk to first.
I smile at Hunter before saying, “Actually, can you guys give Fox and me a moment?”
All four of his brothers turn to look at him before nodding.
Saint stands, signaling the meeting is over. “We’ll do what you want, Brittney, and we’ll keep you safe.”
The twins rise in unison, heading for the kitchen. Hunter lingers a second, squeezing my shoulder on his way out.
I wait until the footsteps fade down the hall, the kitchen door squeaking open and closed, the twins’ voices leaking in bursts of laughter, and the clatter of plates. Only Fox lingers in the periphery, uncertain whether to follow or stay. He stands half-turned to the exit, shoulder propped against the archway, hands buried in the pockets of his worn jeans.
I clear my throat. “Fox?”
He jumps like I fired a starter’s pistol, but forces a smile, the corners of his mouth tugging up. “Yeah?”
“Can you come here?”
He nods, soft and wary, and steps into the living room again, deliberately keeping distance between us. I can feel the anxiety pouring off him.
I motion to the couch. “Sit?”
He does, sitting at the far edge, back hunched and knees together. I sit beside him, leaving a solid foot of air, and stare at my hands, palms sweating against each other.
I’ve never seen him so uncertain. I’ve seen hints of it before, but never this much.
I have to force the words out. “Why’d you do that?”
He blinks. “Do what?”
