Page 41 of Pack Me Up
“No,” I say.
My mother was obsessed with suppressants. The only heat I ever had was carefully timed and heavily medicated, a thing to be managed and minimized, never indulged.
Oli watches me, eyes sharp. “It’s more intense when there’s a pack. When you’re around them for long enough, the hormones sync up, and—” She breaks off, brushing a hand across her knee. “It’s actually kind of lucky you met them before the tour. If you spend enough time together now, it’ll happen before we hit the road.”
I blink. “What happens if it doesn’t happen in time?”
She shrugs, but her fingers tighten. “It’ll hit while we’re on the tour bus, in the middle of tour, with less privacy and your alphas all losing their shit because they’re trying not to knot you in a tour bus.” She grins, but it doesn’t reach her eyes. “Trust me, you want it to happen now. It’s cleaner. But if it happens on the tour, we will handle it. Right now, there’s a scheduled break for your heat, my heat, and Tommy’s heat. If anything happens off schedule, we will cover for each other. The understanding we have for each other is one of the perks of touring with omegas!”
I don’t know what to say. The idea of going into heat with the Phoenix Pack is both terrifying and… exciting. “So, what, I just wait for it to happen?”
“There are ways to bring it on early,” Oli says, and now she looks away, staring at the wall. “Or you can take suppressants to hold it off, but that can backfire, too. Sometimes it just delays the inevitable, and then when it hits, it’s worse.”
The room goes quiet. I pick at the hem of my sock, trying to process.
Oli looks back at me, her expression gone soft. “You don’t have to decide now,” she says. “But you should think about it. If you’d like me to discuss this with them, I’ll be happy to. It’s a lot, I know. I didn’t want you to get blindsided.”
The mention of suppressants makes my skin crawl. My body remembers before my brain does. It was all hot flashes, cold sweats, a hollowed-out feeling that lasted for days. The way mymother’s voice turned sharp and metallic whenever I forgot a dose.
I look down at my hands, knuckles gone white. “I don’t want to take anything,” I say, and my voice is brittle with panic.
Oli’s eyes soften, and she slides off the couch, coming to crouch next to me. “You don’t have to. Lots of omegas don’t, and you’ve got five guys who would literally die before they let you get hurt. It won’t be like before.”
A lump rises in my throat. “You don’t know that.”
She puts her hand over mine, squeezing hard. “No, I don’t, but I believe it.”
We sit there for a long time, her hand warm and steady, mine trembling just enough that I hope she doesn’t notice.
Finally, she gives my fingers one last squeeze and stands up. “I’ll let you think, but don’t wait too long, okay? Your body’s going to make the decision for you, whether you want it or not.”
I nod, not trusting myself to speak.
She heads for the door, pausing to glance back at me. “You’re not alone, Britt. Not anymore. Call me if you need anything. Even just to yell at the universe.”
She slips out, leaving the scent of vanilla and strawberries lingering in the air.
I need to call a pack meeting.
I text the group chat, step into the family room, and wait until the footsteps converge in the living room like a thunderstorm.
Saint takes the armchair, of course, elbows on knees, back so straight it could cut glass. The twins share the loveseat with Cody splayed out and ankles crossed. Colton is folded up tight, arms boxed around his chest. Hunter is perched on the arm of the couch, tapping a rhythm on his thigh with two fingers, restless as ever. Fox is last, standing by the entryway, half in and half out of the room, like he’s not sure if he belongs in this conversation.
I’m so nervous my teeth ache. I run my thumb along the hem of my shirt, a steady tick that gets sharper the longer no one talks.
Saint breaks the silence. “You wanted to talk to us?”
I realize then that they’re all nervous. I can sense it. That helps me calm down.
I nod. “Yeah. Sorry. I just… I need to talk to you all at once.”
Colton grins, waggling his eyebrows. “Are you gonna tell us you already wrote a song about us?”
Saint cuts him off with a look, but Cody just snorts, amused.
I draw in a slow breath. “Oli stopped by. She wanted to make sure I knew a mini heat could happen when an omega meets her scent matches. It’s not something I knew.”
There’s a brief, collective inhale. It’s so faint I almost miss it. Saint’s mouth tightens a notch. Fox drops his eyes to the floor.
