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There’s no way forward but through, as Bebe J used to say. He’s not making a big deal out of it, but I have a feeling that Mac gave up something he really wanted in turning down the bikers. I should love that. Idolove that. But it makes me feel guilty for not carrying through on giving up the thing he needs me to give up.

I waste the rest of the warm water debating who to call, and finally suck it up and go straight to the top. I dial the club’s chairman, Chess, and hope for voicemail.

I’m not that lucky.

“Hello, DirtyGurl.”

“Hello, sir. I’m calling to resign from the club.”

Chess chuckles. “You never do beat around the bush, do you? Would you mind sitting down with me and talking about it? Say Saturday at eleven?”

I’m off for four days starting tomorrow, but I don’t remember when Mac said he wanted to go up to see his daughter. “Yes, sir. I just need to check one thing, but I think it will be fine. Can I text you if I need to reschedule?”

“Of course. Brenna, I’m not trying to change your mind, but I hope you know you will be missed.”

I rub my throat where a funny tightness has formed. “Thank you, sir. I’ve, uh, I’m becoming exclusive with someone.”

“Ah, understandable. Well, let’s just have a talk and then go over the details. I’ll need you to sign the usual NDA.”

“Yes, sir, that’s fine.” I’ve signed one for the club before, when I became a house submissive, and I’d never talk about the club to outsiders anyway.

“Have you spoken to Ten?”

I rub my throat some more. “No, sir.”

“I’m not telling you that you have to, but I think he’d appreciate hearing it from you.”

“Um, okay, I’ll think about it.” I’m definitely not.

Chess chuckles. “I’ll see you Saturday. If you’re coming by the subway, bring me a box of Krispy Kreme.”

“Sir, I’d never say no to you, but there’s no way I’m buying a box of donuts for a diabetic.”

“Ugh, you subbies gossip more than a knitting circle. See you Saturday.”

He hangs up and I finally climb out of the cold water.

By the time Mac returns, I really, really need a coffee. And a hug. I normally love working up designs with clients, particularly first timers, but the “realistic city street scene” this client wants is not gelling for me. I keep wanting to add whimsical elements like a deer walking down the middle of the street. When I realize I’ve added neon fairies peeping out from behind the street signs and am in the middle of hiding an owl in a brick storefront, I call in reinforcements.

“You know, I think this might go better if I take a walk and get some reference pictures,” I tell the frowning client, who I think has just noticed the fairies. “D’you think an East Village feel would be what you’re looking for or would you like me to walk uptown?”

“Oh, East Village definitely. Um, is that a deer?”

I quickly delete the layer where there’s still a bit of a deer outline. “Let me work on this over the weekend and I’ll email you three designs to pick from on Tuesday. Okay?”

“Sure, that sounds good. I like this,” she taps on the subtle owl. “But I’d like an eagle better. Is that okay?”

“Yes, definitely. I’ll work in some eagles.”

“Great, thanks.” She shakes my hand and grabs her coat.

Mac’s got his arm around me before she’s even out the door. “Was that a request to go on a walk, sweetheart?”

“It was. My head’s totally in the wrong place for this design.”

“How would you feel about walking on a leash?”

The idea makes me shiver, but it also makes my sore pussy squeeze. “Um.”