“Here we go,” she says, stopping in front of the door to the Blue Harem room and knocking. Logan’s voice calls for us to come in and Dana steers me into the room with her hold on my elbow.
As soon as I walk through the door, Mac stands from where he was lounging on one of the blue-draped beds. His eyes searchmy face and all the steel in my spine dissolves. I droop in Dana’s hold and feel fresh tears run down my cheeks.
He crosses the room in five quick strides, opening his arms and pulling me tightly against his chest. “He took your collar. I should have anticipated that. I’m sorry, girl.”
I sink into him, resting my head against his shoulder and letting the tears flow. “Five years, Sir. I’ve barely ever taken it off. That’s still the same one ...”
“I know,” he soothes. “I know, my girl. It’s okay. I’ll fix this. Let me fix it?”
I nod wearily. The ups and downs of this day are just too much for my raw heart.
Mac guides me over to the bed he was sitting on and settles me on my back. Tears run hot down my temples and I don’t even try to wipe them away.
I hear Mac thank Dana and ask Logan if he can have the room for a couple of hours. While I lie there like the world’s saddest sap and sniffle.
Emily leans over me and kisses me on the cheek. “I love you, Bren. It’s okay to be sad over your collar but it’s going to be okay.”
I sniff. “When did ‘I love you’ become a thing between us? I hate it.”
She wipes my cheeks. “I know. I still love you and it’s still going to be okay. See you at dinner.”
I nod bleakly, staring up at the bed’s blue canopy.
Mac replaces Emily at my side as Logan herds her and the two other couples out of the room. I feel a twinge of guilt at spoiling whatever scene they were planning. The club’s busy today so they might have trouble getting another room, even though the house subs tend to treat Logan like a rock star and give him anything he asks for.
“Maybe we should give them the room, Sir,” I whisper. “Club’s pretty busy.”
“They’ll find somewhere,” Mac responds from where he’s rummaging in his toy bag. “This is more important.”
That he thinks so makes the tears run faster. The bed dips as Mac stretches out beside me and rolls me into his arms. He kisses the tear-tracks and strokes my cheek with his thumb.
“This is temporary, sweetheart,” he says gently. “I’ve ordered you a collar but it’s still being engraved and won’t be here until Tuesday. So, all I have is this one, but will you accept it from me?”
He holds up a plain, black leather collar with a silver O ring in the middle.
My breath catches in my chest. “You’re offering me your collar, Sir?”
“I am, my girl. I know this isn’t going slow, but I don’t have any doubts, Bren. If you have doubts, will you share them with me now so we can talk them through?”
I rub my lips together as I stare up into those warm, summer-sky eyes. If I say nothing, he’ll collar me and that’s what I want but I also want it to be for real and not something temporary that he takes off after a couple of months when he’s had enough of me. Accepting his collar when I’m still shaky is wrong—it’s not being honest with my Sir.
“There’s the age thing,” I say, because Ten resurrected that nasty niggle.
“You seem to be keeping up with me just fine, girl.” He grins at me and I feel the corners of my lips lift in answer.
“You do have a lot of energy for a geezer, Sir. Seriously, it’s more that you’ve had your family and, I don’t know, someday I might want a kid.”
“I’m not opposed to a second family, girl. I love kids. I’m looking forward to playing granddad to Logan’s little one whenshe arrives. We’re getting way ahead of ourselves, but this is not an obstacle. Next?”
“My juvie record,” I whisper.
“Not something I care about, girl.”
“But those bikers wouldn’t let you join because of me. I know you wanted to.”
“I want to belong toabrotherhood, but not that one. While you were sleeping off the scene, Napa invited me to meet his brothers. They want us to stop for a barbeque on our way back from Poughkeepsie on Sunday night. If that goes well, I’ll do some rides with them and see if they’re a better fit.”
“What if they’re unhappy with my record?”