“I’m not a baby Dom.”
“Is that what you call me?”
Logan tugs at his hair some more. “Fuck, no. I don’t mean it in a derogatory way, Max. Just that you’re still learning?—”
“You’re not? You told me you’ve never been a daddy before. You told me you’re figuring it out as you go. You’re telling me to be ready to make mistakes and forgive myself but you’re holding yourself to some impossible higher standard? You’re not god, Lo, no matter what Emmy thinks.”
“I know that. I’m not Javier.” He sits back, rubs his hands over his face a final time, and pulls his elbow over his head in a stretch. “Maybe shit like this will keep me humble.”
I eye him for a long minute. “Yeah?”
nine
He nods firmlyand whether it’s him actually starting to process or just stuffing it down deep somewhere, he’s done talking about it. I give him a chin lift before I push my arms over my head to stretch my chest and back.
“Tell me why you don’t like DirtyGurl,” I say.
He chuckles. “I don’t dislike DirtyGurl. From everything I’ve heard, she’s a good sub and a good friend. I just can’t deal with her mouth during scenes.”
“She does have a mouth on her. And an ass.”
Logan widens his eyes at me. “You are not ready to take on that ass, mate. Trust me. She will chew you up and spit you out.”
I switch positions and stretch my sides. “She explained to me why we’re all kinds of incompatible from a kink perspective. Kincompatible?” Logan chuckles at my weak pun. “But I can still admire her ass. And her brain. She’s smart. She explained things in a way I could immediately understand.”
Logan nods. “She’s a very experienced subbie. She can’t really mentor you because she’s not a Dom, although I’ve wondered more than once if she’s not actually a switch. But you couldn’t have a better resource if you have questions.”
“She volunteered to be my sounding board. What’s a switch?”
“Someone who both tops and bottoms.”
“Right. You think so? I dunnow. Submission seems like second nature to her. She has to restrain herself from doing it when it’s not socially acceptable.”
Logan sits back on his hands and flexes his chest. “How the hell do you know that?”
“I saw it the other morning when we were all at breakfast. She served everyone coffee, including me. When Jiro came down, she was up out of her seat to get him a drink before she even thought about it.”
I see the memory ticking over in Logan’s eyes before he speaks. “She didn’t get me a drink.”
“Yeah.” I almost tell him why not. But we agreed everything would stay between us and I’d be doing a shitty job of this Daddy Dom thing if I break the first trust I’ve been given. “Any thoughts on why?”
Logan blows out a breath. “She thinks I don’t like her and she’s trying to avoid drawing attention to herself.”
I wink at him. “You’re not just a pretty face, buddy.”
“Wanker.” Logan twists from side to side. “I need to be nicer to her, don’t I? I don’t mind her outside a scene, and I don’t want to scare her off if she could be a friend for Emmy.”
“Couldn’t hurt,” I say. “Although Emmy seems to have plenty of friends at the playgroup if you really object to Brenna.”
“I don’t object to her. I just wouldn’t want to top her and I think that aversion tangles up my thinking about her sometimes. As for the playgroup, what’d you think?”
“Interesting,” I say. “I definitely want to go back. And Cynnie’s coming over for dinner tonight.”
“Yeah?” Logan climbs off the floor and slaps me on the shoulder. “That was quick work, mate.”
“She asked me while we were playing Twister. I don’t know if you heard that.” Logan shakes his head as he racks the weightsand settles onto his back on the weight bench. His house, he goes first. Old rule. “I fumbled it and she left before I had a chance to fix it, so I got her number from Emily.” When Logan frowns, I add, “WithCynnie’s permission. I called her before bed, and we had a really good talk. I read her a bedtime story.”
Logan grins before he grips the bar and starts bench-presses. “Told you you’re a natural. How’d it feel?”
