Sinking back in the beanbag, I admit the depth of my screw up. When I finish with Mac’s advice and the things I’ve ordered to assist my grovel, Logan’s heavy hand lands on my shoulder.
“Mac’s a thousand percent right. You can’t let a subbie get away with not talking to you. But he hasn’t dated since the fucking nineteen-fifties, Maxie. You cannot show up on her doorstep uninvited. Any woman might be scared by that, but you couldterrorizea little.”
My shoulder sags under his hand. “What do I do?”
“You have to get her to talk to you first. She’s not responding to your text messages, but have you tried calling her?”
I shake my head. “I’m afraid of her blocking me.”
Logan squeezes my shoulder. “I know this is tough. You’re doing the hard thing, facing rejection like this. It’s not easy. But this is what it means to be a daddy. You have to do the right thing for your little, even if it hurts like hell. Call her. If she blocks you, then you know. You can’t pop up on her doorstep. How do you even know her address?”
I could lie and say she told me. Salve the remnants of my pride. But I know Logan’s not judging me. “I hacked it.”
“Maxie.” Logan blows out a long breath that taints the room with alcohol barely cloaked by spearmint. Not a great combination. “You can’t show up at her house if she didn’t give you the address.”
“I was just going to give her the flowers and the stuffie I bought?—”
Logan’s shaking his head before I even finish. “You can’t. Send them by messenger with a note that says you’d like to seeher, but you can’t invade her space like that. So much of the world is unsafe for littles. Their safe spaces are sacred. You can’t make her feel unsafe in her home.”
“I didn’t think of that, Lo. I’m not cut out for this daddy thing. Why didn’t I think about the importance of her safe space?”
Logan rubs my shoulder. “Not everything’s intuitive, Maxie. A lot of it is trial and error. Figuring out what works. God knows, I’ve fucked up creating a safe space for Emmy recently. And what works with Cynnie might not work with another little. Warrin and I compare notes a lot. His biggest rewards for Aggie? Emmy would think I was punishing her. There’s no one size fits all.”
“There should be a manual,” I grumble.
“Yeah, but where would the challenge be in that? Listen, if she will see you, be prepared for whatever reason she gives for ghosting you not to make much sense.”
“Huh?”
“It sounds like she spent three days in littlespace with you. That’s very intense for a little, particularly one who hasn’t had a daddy in a while. She’ll have a lot of emotions going on and she may not be able to express those emotions very clearly. Be gentle with her. If what she says makes no sense, give it a few minutes, then loop back and give her another chance to explain herself. Do it a couple of times if you need to. And whatever you do, don’t lose your temper with her.”
“Okay.” I snort. “That’s without a doubt the strangest dating advice I’ve ever been given.”
Logan chuckles. “Welcome to being a daddy.”
“You’re sure I can do this?” I run my hands through my hair.
“I am. I can’t promise it’s going to be easy. Not with Cynnie, not with another little if things with Cynnie don’t work out. But it’s worth it. Stay the course. I’m proud of you.”
I give him a sheepish smile and he pats my shoulder again. “Have you talked to any of the other daddies from playgroup?”
I shake my head. “I had a follow-up call with the organizer, Miss Ginger, but mostly she just apologized again for the whole situation with Mary Lisa.”
“Eh.” Logan waves that off like a bad smell. “Don’t let that color your perception of playgroup. Now that you’ve spent a couple of days with a little, give Jack or Warrin a call and talk through how it felt. See what they think.”
“You mean I have to talk about myfeelings?” I pull a face worthy of Tyrone.
Logan reaches over to slap the back of my head. “Wanker.”
“Dick. I’ll call Jack. If things don’t work out with Cynnie, he can talk me off the ledge,” I joke.
“Whatever happens, come lift with me tomorrow morning,” Logan says.
“Sure.” He made that easy. I thought I’d have to browbeat him to let me come over again while he’s trying to have his retreat with Emily. Maybe he’s already realized it’s not a good idea right now. “Want me to drag Mac along? Emmy mentioned wanting to meet him.”
“Yeah, that’d be good. Plan on staying for lunch. Emmy’ll want to feed you.”
“No argument from me?—”
