Jack nods. “We have a punishment closet.”
“That’s one I can’t do with Aggie,” Warrin says. “She panics in small spaces after a while.”
“How long?” I ask.
“Less than five minutes.”
I scratch the back of my head. “So should I keep checking on Cynnie?”
“Yes,” Jack says decisively. “I check on Sammi every ten minutes even though I’ve been putting him in the punishment closet for years. I usually blindfold him so he can’t see it when I open the closet door.”
It reassures me to hear that Jack checks on Sammi often even after years of punishing him. I don’t like the idea of blindfolding Cynnie, but I could set up a camera in the closet with a feed to my phone so I could see her.
As we reach Central Park West, Warrin spots the caterer’s van. A bubbly brunette jumps out when Warrin waves, unloads a multitude of bags that she piles into our arms, then gives Warrin air-kisses before hopping back into the van and driving off.
“How much did you order?” Jack asks, surveying the bags.
“Picnic for six.” Warrin shrugs. “Rhoda doesn’t skimp. Why do you think I hit the gym every day? Woman’s feeding me to death.”
Jack shakes his head and hefts several bags.
“How is Sammi when he comes out of the closet?” I ask as we head back to the Lennon Memorial.
“Teary and clingy for a while. Be prepared for cuddly aftercare.”
“Bath or shower together isn’t the worst idea, either,” Warrin adds. “For us, punishment resets the clock. I can give her as much attention after a punishment as I feel like without reinforcing the behavior I don’t want.”
That makes sense to me. “What about, uh, sex afterwards?”
“Not with Sammi,” Jack says. “He gets cuddles, but no sex for six hours and no orgasms for twelve hours. Otherwise, he’d just do the same thing he was punished for again the next day.”
Warrin laughs. “I could not deal with your boy.”
Jack flashes white teeth. “Every minute with him’s a fresh challenge. Keeps me on my toes.”
“I don’t ever withhold sex from Aggie,” Warrin says to me. “That’s a trigger for her. If she’s interested after a punishment, I give it to her. Lots of times she just wants cuddles and reassurance that we’re okay, though.”
“Watch out for the post-punishment blowjob,” Jack says quietly as a family passes us. “That’s your little using sex to make sure they’re back in your good graces. I consider it topping from below. If you want her to give you a blowjob, make sure you control it from start to finish.”
I see the wisdom in that. “Okay.”
“And be alert for drop, in both of you. Punishment can be just as intense as a scene. Check in with her frequently, even if it feels like you’re overdoing it. Any change, particularly if she goes quiet on you, go straight in with drop aftercare.”
“Uh, what’s drop aftercare?”
And why haven’t I seen this in all the websites I’ve been reading? I’ve seen subdrop mentioned, but not what I’m supposed to do about it.
“I treat it like I’d treat her if she was sick,” Warrin tells me. “Attention. Reassurance. Make sure she’s warm; I know that sounds crazy in this weather, but Aggie gets cold when she drops. Surround her with her favorite things. Make sure she’s hydrated, well fed, make her nap if she seems cranky. If it goes on for more than a day, I get her therapist on the phone. Drop can become a major depressive episode with Aggie, so I don’t let it go untreated for more than a day.”
I nod. That all makes sense and echoes what I learned from my therapist in the Navy. A day to feel down and recharge is okay. Any more than that and it can become a downward spiral.
“Sammi isn’t depressive,” Jack says. “Anything but.” We all chuckle. “Drop can manifest as mania, too. If Sammi’s all over the place after a big scene or punishment, that’s the time to bring things down a notch. Quiet activities. Maybe a movie if he has the attention span. Sometimes I’ll have him cook something complicated with me. Nothing overly social. Your sub’s attention should be on you after a punishment. Once he seems back on an even keel, I give him back his phone and let him make plans with friends, but I keep him close and quiet for a day or two after a big punishment.”
Our pace back towards the Lennon Memorial slows to a crawl as we trade tips.
“And lots of reassurance that they’re loved and worthy of your love,” Warrin adds. “It’s too easy to go from ‘I did a bad thing’ to ‘I’m a bad person.’ Don’t let Cynnie go there.”
Jack nods. “Cynnie hasn’t had a daddy for a while. She may not remember how to deal with a punishment. Make sure you normalize it for her.”
