Page 83 of Night and Day
Chapter 32
Ihave to forget youa little bit.
What did that even mean?
Izzy lifted his weights back on the rack, sweat dripping from his forehead. Punishing his body helped, for a moment, but he couldn’t switch off his brain, or pretend things were back to normal. That message had been sitting in his inbox this morning, after a fitful night. He had to talk to her. There had to be a way forward that didn’t mean forgetting each other.
Not that he could ever do that. She’d gone through his life like a hurricane, blowing everything out of place. He felt as if the front door was permanently open, bringing in a breeze he could feel on his skin, even though he’d checked dozens of times that all the windows and doors were closed. He couldn’t keep the world outside and the work that usually saved him, sucking him into its imaginary world, failed to hold his attention.
He’d fiddled around with the files, making meaningless changes to the 3D models he’d commissioned earlier, but instead of being sucked into the project and losing track of time, frustration built until he had to get off the computer and pump some iron. The progress was too slow, his plan too vague. Even if he could put that film together, who said he could sell it to anyone, anywhere? Instead of the film, he’d poured his time into Mia’s song, recording the harmonies and mixing it. Hearing her voice brought back memories and pain, but it was the only piece of her that he had left and he couldn’t stay away.
Mia had restarted his internal clock, and it ticked louder than ever before, reminding him that weeks, months and years could potentially be wasted. Life was going to slip through his hands. She was right. He should have written a book first, or at least published his screenplay for feedback before going ahead with creating anything on the computer. The technical challenge of it had lured him in and distracted him from the gaping hole in his plan. If he wasn’t part of the world, his creation was unlikely to find its place in it either.
Blowing out a heavy breath, muscles in his arms and legs twitching from the post-workout exhaustion, Izzy dragged himself into the shower. Above the sound of running water, he didn’t hear the footsteps and knocks until someone banged on the bathroom door. “Izzy? Are you there?”
“Mac?”
“Yeah, it’s me. I’ll wait.”
What else was he going to do? Join him? Izzy frowned, wondering what his brother wanted. He didn’t usually barge all the way into his bedroom without a warning.
Izzy stepped out of the bathroom, a towel flapping against his thighs.
Mac looked up from a book he was reading, his eyes wide. “Dude, you training for something?”
“No.”
“Ah. You look like you’re auditioning for a Rocky remake.”
“NowthatI would audition for.” Izzy gave him a wry smile, sitting on the bed next to him.
Mac narrowed his eyes. “You do that in front of other people, you know?”
“Yeah. I’m turning into a social butterfly,” Izzy sneered, a hint of pain breaking through his voice. “What are you doing here?”
“Deke called.”
Of course.
“I’m fine,” Izzy lied, sinking his fingers into his wet hair, elbows against knees. “She had to go... and I’m getting used to it, I guess.”
“Is she coming back?”
“I think she’s trying to, but she has to work for a while, to make some money.” He tried to breathe out the heaviness, but it wouldn’t budge. “It’s fine. It’ll give us time to figure out what we both want.”
“You don’t know what you want?” Mac’s voice rose in confusion.
Izzy cast him an unimpressed look. “Of course I do. I want her, but she doesn’t want a long distance relationship.”
“Then close the distance, bro.”
“Me?”
“Yes, you! She came to see you. Now it’s your turn.”
Izzy rubbed a hand over his face. “I had a fucking panic attack just visiting the airport.” His voice got stuck in his throat and he cleared it. “I’d never even been to the fucking airport! I’m just—”
