Page 107 of My Lucky Star
“I’ll order Aria’s ride.” Emir stretched, picking up his laptop.
Burcu waited for me to take a sip of tea, then gestured for me to get up. “Can I talk to you, Cem? It won’t take long.”
I yawned but got up and followed her through the dining area, onto a deck overlooking the swimming pool.
“It’s good to see you,” I said as we settled into a pair of sun loungers by the water.
Burcu’s smile held like a still photo. “I’m feeling a lot better. I’m on new medication and it’s making a difference.”
I studied her, trying to remember what we’d once had, how I’d felt about her. She was as beautiful as ever, yet she felt like a stranger. There was no spark of recognition in my heart, no light behind her eyes pulling me in. They gazed back at me like two evil eye beads, glassy and impenetrable. I wondered if it was the medication or the illness, or maybe both.
“You seem... different,” I said diplomatically.
“I think I’m ready to return to work. You know my family needs money. I really appreciate your help with finding this body double and bringing her here. It’s a great start. I thought I’d take her off your hands and use her for a few jobs myself, but seeing you together, I feel...” She lowered her voice, her eye contact unnerving. “I’m ready, Cem. You can send her away and we can continue together. You and me.”
Her smile radiated confidence, her posture straight as a rod, her neck elongated. Like a swan. An elegant, ferocious, territorial swan. I’d seen swans fighting. They fought to kill. Maybe that’s what had changed. I couldn’t see a hint of her old anxiety, that ever-present uncertainty that made the corners of her eyes twitch and her forehead wrinkle. They were replaced by a strange, calm composure. Two huge, unblinking eyes boring into mine.
Burcu brought her chair closer to mine, leaning in. A cloying floral fragrance filled my nose, tickling the back of my throat. Had she always worn this much perfume?
“We were once the number one couple in this city. We can do it again. Nobody else will stand a chance. We can revive both our careers. We can take our pick of the brand ambassador deals. There’s a perfume brand I really want.”
Was it the one currently teasing a sneeze out of me? I forced a smile, leaning as far back in my chair as I could. “Are you proposing a fake relationship?”
Burcu’s face fell. “Cem! It’s always been real between us, you know that!” She looked hurt, which felt like an improvement. A sign of humanity. “I’m offering you a chance to stop this fake relationship nonsense and have something real.”
I bit my lip to stop from scoffing out loud. I couldn’t even see the real person behind her composed veneer. But she kept staring at me, unyielding. My fingers fidgeted. I’d never craved a cigarette as much as I did right then. What did non-smokers do with their hands?
“We haven’t seen each other in three years.” I tried to sound patient, waiting for her to realize the insanity of her words. There was no ‘us’. Our relationship had ended a long time ago. She’d ended it.
“I know. I wish we hadn’t lost all that time, but I know you still think of me.” Her eyes searched mine like she was reading the small print on a contract.
“How do you know that?”
Her eyes rounded. “Come on, Cem! You haven’t had any serious girlfriends and you’re hanging out with my body double.”
My chest burned, spitting out angry words. “She’s a person. Her name is Aria.”
Burcu’s brow knitted. “Of course she’s a person. You know I don’t treat my staff poorly. I know everyone by name. I pay them well. What are you saying?”
“I’m saying she’s not a staff member. She’s a... friend. She didn’t have to do anything for me but she’s helping both of us.”
Burcu nodded slowly. “I see. She’s a friend. I can only hope you’re still paying her.”
“Why?”
She gave a reproaching look. “I can see she’s a little in love with you. Can’t blame her, Cem, that’s what happens to most of us, but it’s not fair to lead her on. Pay her what she’s worth. That way she won’t feel quite as used.”
My jaw tightened. “I’m not using her.”
“She’s a fish out of water. She doesn’t belong.” Burcu shrugged her dainty shoulders as if apologizing for the sad facts neither of us could change.
That’s how it was in the Turkish TV industry. We dated our own kind, because no one else knew what it was like. If I worked in this town, Burcu would make a great ally. She spoke the language and knew the game inside out.
The night air was warm and muggy, but a shiver ran down my spine. Sitting here, listening to her, I felt like I’d tried on my old life, a shrunken jacket that didn’t allow me to move my arms, or breathe. I fought to fill my lungs, my chest tightening. I couldn’t go back to this.
But what did I want instead? What did I want, apart from Aria?
“I talked to Emir.” Burcu lifted her chin, peering at me from underneath those perfect eyelashes. “He agrees that the two of us make sense. You can’t continue with that replacement out there. It’s only a matter of time before you’re found out. She doesn’t speak a word of Turkish. She’s fat. I don’t mind. She carries her weight really well. But you know the press will comment on it. Do you want her to hear that? You know how our country is about weight. The foreigners will never understand, they’re so sensitive. The faster you send her home, the faster we can get back on track. Nobody needs to know about this arrangement. I’m sure you don’t want to drag her into the middle of a scandal.”
