Page 114 of My Lucky Star
I looked at her over my wad of toilet paper. “I don’t know how to pull myself together. I know I have to, but I ... miss him so much.”
“Of course you do.” She rubbed my arm. “Can you call him? Email him?”
I shook my head, spraying snotty tears over my arms. “No. I don’t want to stand in the way of his dreams. He’ll be huge, I know it. He’ll go to Hollywood.”
Janie nodded. “Maybe. Sounds like he has the talent, the looks and the opportunity.”
“Exactly. He needs to go for it. I’d never forgive myself if I blew it for him, but it still hurts. Letting go hurts.”
Janie stared past me, deep in thought. “Has he let go, though? Do you think? It sounds like it wasn’t his decision. And it sounds like maybe he’s looking for a new direction in life.”
I scoffed. “He’s not looking to buy a farm and keep chickens. No offence.”
“None taken.” Janie smiled. “But he might be looking for something... different. Celebrity life isn’t the perfect fit for everyone. It’s exhausting. Not a great foundation for lasting relationships, either.”
Despite my self-centered wallowing, I detected the pain in her voice. “Did it affect your marriage? Is that why you quit?”
Janie sighed. “I thought it would help us, getting away from it all, but I don’t think we were on the same page. Maybe there wasn’t anything left to save.”
“I’m sorry,” I sniffled, feeling horrible. “Here I am, crying over a two-week relationship. Afakerelationship.”
“But yours is a fresh pain. I’ve done my crying.” She smiled her usual bright smile, like nothing could ever touch her. I couldn’t imagine Janie even crying. How did she look? Did she snot all over the place and sound like a dying whale?
“And it doesn’t sound fake, what you went through. It sounds quite real. So passionate. I’ve forgotten what that feels like.” She released a wistful sigh. “Has he tried to contact you?”
I shook my head. “He must be prepping for the new role already.”
My phone rang, startling us both. Unknown number.
I took a deep breath before I answered.
“Aria Dunne?” A female voice chirped in my ear.
“Yes.”
“I’m calling about the role. When would you be available for a fitting? We have a few costumes to finish.”
It took several beats before I recognized Lindsay’s voice and remembered the audition.
“Lindsay? What? Have I... Did you...” I couldn’t find the words.
“Did you get my message?” Lindsay asked. “I sent you the updated script and the shooting schedule. We start the day after tomorrow.”
I flashed a panicky look at Janie, who smiled encouragingly, leaning in to hear both sides of the conversation. I hadn’t checked my email in a couple of days, after compulsively clicking on the refresh button for 24 hours. I’d had to cut myself off before I lost my mind. Cem had my number. He’d call if he wanted to.
“Yes, of course. Thank you. Thank you.”
I promised Lindsay I’d show up at the hotel early in the morning, then ended the call as quickly as I could without being impolite. Any longer, and I would have sniffed.
Shaking from the suspended sniffles, I turned to Janie. “They cast me. The role is mine.”
She jumped to her feet, clapping her hands. “That’s amazing! I’ve always said the best way to work through the pain is to work through the pain.”
“Work through the pain,” I repeated.
What else could I do?
