Page 58 of My Lucky Star
There was a certain charm to old buildings, the connection to history. I loved that about Istanbul, too, as did many of my more artistically inclined friends, renovating 1800s flats in our historic suburbs. I couldn’t wait to show Aria around the city.
If we could get her to join us. I had a feeling she was planning to disappear. What if she did? I had her phone number, but no address. Could I find her through her job?
Emir sat on the bed and yanked his laptop out of its bag. “I’ll book our flights. We need to get moving. You make sure Aria doesn’t split on us. You have more pull with her anyway.”
He said the last part begrudgingly, and I couldn’t help the smack of satisfaction. Growing up, he’d been better at everything– math, science, playing the guitar, even football... the only thing left for me was being fun. With that came the social life and social skills he’d never really had and pretended not to care about.
“I’ll talk to her, but you have to stop the blackmail and scare tactics. They won’t work. She’s not Burcu. She’s different. Stubborn.”
“Fine,” Emir grumbled, his gaze on the screen.
I ran downstairs, then out the door, and caught Aria on the phone next to her car. It sounded like she was talking to the cleaners. I waited for her to finish the call, my hand up as if waiting for my turn to speak in the classroom.
She lowered the phone and turned to me with arched brows. “Is something wrong?”
I leaned on her car, stopping her from opening the door. “We both know something’s wrong.” I glanced at the house. “My brother’s a dick.”
“Is he?” She gave me a level gaze.
“No. I mean he has... blind spots. When he feels threatened, or gets stressed, he acts like a douche bag on a power trip instead of asking for help.”
Aria gave me a soft nod, her mouth gently curling up. “You don’t say?”
I smiled apologetically, relief flooding my body. “Well, you saw him in action. I’m sorry.”
Her expression melted further. “It’s okay.”
“I know we can’t force you to do this. It’s a lot to ask, but I don’t have a choice. I have to go back. I have to help Burcu. This is the first time she’s reached out to us in three years. She must be desperate.”
“Hmm.” She dipped her chin, eyes downcast. “You really care about her.”
“I do, but not romantically. We worked together for a long time. She’s the reason the show became so popular. I owe her... everything.” I gave her an earnest look.
Aria nodded, her mouth a straight line. “She sounds very special.”
“Not as special as you! But I want to be honest with you. If you decided to help me, you deserve the whole truth. I’m not trying to hire you to be a mute body double.”
She frowned. “But that’s exactly what you’re asking. You need me there, not talking, looking like Burcu.”
I sighed, running my fingers through my hair, which had dried into some unexpected tangles. I was talking myself into knots and she saw right through me. “I know it sounds that way, but I wanted to tell you that you’re more than that, to me.” Seeing her alarmed expression, I added, “A friend. And I could really use one.”
Aria exhaled, and I swallowed the bubble of disappointment creeping up my throat. I’d never subscribe to this friendship nonsense, but I would have said anything to keep her with me. I didn’t even care about the film role, or my reputation. Caring about that was Emir’s job. I only wanted to keep Aria.
If I thought beyond the moments I’d spent lusting after her, she’d also given me some of the least lonely, most real and grounding yet joyful moments I could remember since childhood. I wanted to hang onto them, hang onto her. To keep texting her, talking to her, laughing at her jokes, making her laugh... And of course, I still wanted to do things to her I wouldn’t let myself even think about. Not right now. Not here. I couldn’t risk her running away.
She glanced away, then shook her head, jingling her car keys between her fingers. “What if you lose the film role? You’d spend a lot of money flying me over there for nothing. Money you could spend on helping Burcu and her family, if they’re in trouble.”
“If I lose the role, I won’t have much money to help Burcu,” I argued. “Everyone’s counting on me.”
“You’re everyone’s golden ticket, aren’t you?” Her eyes glowed with sadness, with a hint of defiance.
“I guess.”
I knew what she meant, but I couldn’t spin this any other way. This was my life. The price I had to pay. I’d lifted my family out of poverty, and I’d keep them cushioned against inflation so that nobody had anything to worry about. They could disapprove of my lifestyle and blame me for the scandals, but they couldn’t deny I brought in the money. That I was good for something.
“You’re more than that to me,” she said quietly, throwing my own words back at me. Except for the ‘friend’ part. That tiny omission made my heart leap.
“Are you going to the audition?” I asked.
