Page 89 of My Lucky Star
“I trust you, Cem. And I hate the idea of anyone treating you like a... human resource.” I winced. “But it doesn’t mean you’re in love with me. Maybe you miss being seen as a person and not as a celebrity. That makes sense.”
He pinned me with a look that made my body freeze to the spot I was standing on. “I know how I feel, and you can’t rationalize it away. I love that you hold me to a higher standard, but it’s not just that. It’s you. Every new thing I learn about you makes me want to learn the next thing.”
“But what if it’s not good? Like... I bite my nails.” I trailed my index finger along my bottom lip. It felt so much longer than I remembered. Unreal. Like all of this.
“I know.” He smiled.
“I hate doing laundry.”
“I figured.” His eyes did a little half roll.
“I’m terrible at parallel parking.”
“Tarik is great at it. So what?”
I shook my head, disappointed with my petty, drain-circling thoughts. I wanted to shake them off and gobble up his affection, whatever it was, however short-lived.
Cem rescued my nails by wrapping his hand around mine and bringing it down. He stepped a little closer, enveloping me in his warm, intoxicating scent. “You don’t love someone because you know everything about them, and you haven’t discovered any major faults. That’s why you’d love a toaster, maybe. Not a person.”
I blinked, forgetting to breathe. “Why do you love somebody, then? What makes us fall in love?”
“I’m probably the last person you should ask. I know nothing about love. I only know that if I think about you leaving... if I think about losing you, it hurts. It physically hurts.”
I swallowed against the stickiness in my throat. I’d run out of arguments and in their place, I found only warmth. Terrible, overwhelming, paralyzing warmth. Oh, how I wanted this to be true, like a dream I never wanted to wake up from.
Cem’s eyes implored mine. “If I’m completely honest, I’ve had a lot of doubts about... myself. If I could really be worth your trust. And every time I see that doubt in your eyes, it’s like you’re driving that knife a little deeper.”
My chest felt like it might burst. I had to deflect. “God, you’re dramatic.” I tried to smile but couldn’t resist placing a gentle kiss between his hard pecs. My wobbly voice betrayed me. “I think you’re more of a man than you know. Maybe you haven’t needed all those resources yet. With your charmed life and all.”
He grabbed me by the arms and flashed me an infuriating grin. “You’re insufferable. I’m expressing my emotions, trying to be romantic... and you’re making fun of me.”
I cocked my head, blinking away the moisture that had gathered in my eyes, and matched his smile. “Is it a Turkish thing, being so emotional?”
“Maybe. But choose wisely. Emir won’t give you much.”
“I believe you.” My next blink gathered a ripe teardrop, launching it down my cheek.
Cem’s finger caught it halfway down. “No more jokes, then?”
“I’m all out.”
We stared at each other, the air sizzling between us. “How lucky are we?” His eyes sparkled. “Two people falling for each other, at the same time?”
I knew I had a half-witted smile on my face, but I didn’t care. Because he was right. I felt lucky. For the first time in months, I didn’t want to be anybody else. I didn’t want to be anywhere else.
When his mouth claimed mine, I felt even luckier.
Without another word, Cem took my hand and led me back upstairs. I’m not sure how we ended up on the bed, but we did. This time, my brain barely registered the change from vertical to horizontal, as if I’d decoupled myself from gravity.
Seagulls flew overhead, shrieking behind the window as they went. Cem rolled over me, trapping me between his flexed arms. My body called for his, swelling and pulsing in anticipation, yet deliciously peaceful. Knowing that he felt something for me, something he considered real, even if only in this moment, made my chest glow. I was someone. I was known. I was seen.
I gasped as he relaxed one arm, letting some of his weight fall on me. His fingers traced my skin, all the way down, curling inside the waistband of my shorts. I’d slept in them, the zipper and buttons sinking their red marks into my stomach.
Cem unbuttoned and unzipped me, freeing me from the stiff denim and revealing my uninspired cotton underwear. He rubbed circles over them, intolerably slowly. “As long as we’re being honest, seeing you come in my shower is the hottest thing I’ve ever witnessed. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to take a shower without picturing that.”
He brought his face inches from mine, blocking the blue sky above. Dark curls fell down, brushing my cheeks, and his brown eyes had a shine on them that tightened my throat. “I feel free with you,” he said. “Like my life is... mine, you know? This moment is all mine. All ours.”
I knew. “It is yours, Cem. And I’m yours, too.”
